I’ve never been so happy to be so exhausted. 🙂
While sleeping at night or napping these days, I always makes sure to have two things. The first is my blanky. My blanket’s name is Binkers and the other half of her (she’s a girl…) got lost in a move a few years ago. I’m really glad she tore in two and my mom kept the other half. Being reunited with my trusty Binkers was such a relief. But seriously. Aunt Jocelyn and I used to drape Binkers up in a corner when we were making pretend haunted houses during October in our apartment or house growing up. That’s how thin she is…so see-through and yet so versatile! Not many blankets can be a spider web in the corner of the room and snuggle you in bed that very same night.
The second thing I like to sleep with these days is Mallow, the soft little bunny that aunt Jocelyn gave to you…but I’m thinking of keeping for myself. I’m, like, the most unselfish mom.
I’m starting to wonder if I am having a baby or digressing and turning back into a baby myself. Time will tell. Stay tuned. And it might be in everyone’s best interest if you start calling me Benjamin Button.
After my nap yesterday on my lunch break, I wanted to eat pizza for lunch but didn’t have time to cook the frozen pizza that was in the freezer so the only sensible thing to do was to go through the Little Caesars drive thru by my house. I have had the willpower to resist many times before and yet somehow, this time, I couldn’t summon that willpower anywhere. I didn’t look very hard. Okay fine, I could hardly drive there fast enough. A car pulled into the parking lot before me and was literally driving 3 MPH, which of course, to my pregnant appetite, was completely enraging. I looked for signs of distress…maybe she needed help? Maybe she fell asleep at the wheel? Nope. Just driving 3 MPH for the fun of it, in front of me, with no way of getting around her to the drive thru. The best part about the whole situation is that after she ordered her pizza and I was pulling ahead to order and to finally satiate my ever-growing hunger, I noticed that her license plate was surrounded by a frame that said, “Don’t Drive Stupid.” I think she needs to know that driving 3 MPH in front of a pregnant woman in the parking lot and drive thru of Little Caesars is the stupidest driving out there. The stupidest driving there is! I mean…I feel like she needs to know!! Someone needs to tell her.
Another thing to note is that I paid with cash because I wanted my pizza purchase to remain unnoticed. I mean, your dad seriously wouldn’t even care if I had pizza for lunch, but I was slightly ashamed of my lunch purchase. Paying with cash is untraceable. I went to all that effort of counting out the exact change which probably burned an extra 5 calories that I need and ended up just telling him that night anyway because he said he wanted pizza for dinner. I had to tell him why that didn’t sound good anymore.
When I got to work with the pizza, it was perfect timing because, while appearing quite generous in offering all of my colleagues a slice, they were already full from their lunches. Genius. A whole cheese pizza just for me, just like Kevin in Home Alone. I’ve always wanted that. It turns out that you, my little baby, wanted mostly just the cheese and not much bread. Who am I to deprive you of that?? So just the cheese (and a few bites of the crust here and there) it was.
One of my co-workers came by and put the pizza box in my hands a little later and wanted to take a picture of me. She thought it would be funny to document that I just found out I’m pregnant and that I got a whole pizza just for me…but she didn’t actually think it was mine and that I had, in fact, ordered a whole pizza for just for me. She started laughing so hard when I opened the box and she saw what I ate and that the whole hilarious situation that she had pictured in her head was actually real life. Don’t you love it when that happens? 😉 I’m a pregnant stereotype, and there’s no turning back now.
Well…I’m going to go snuggle Binkers, hop into my crib and drink my bottle now. Wish me luck!
You’re worth it!
Mom (aka Benjamin)