To my beautiful child (written on 10/25),
We are headed back from a weekend trip to Washington where we celebrated grandma Sue’s 90th birthday. The weekend was a little glimpse of heaven and I’m fully aware that family is everything good in this life. No matter how far you’ve been away from them, it feels like home. I was soaking up every second, every hug, every word. I wonder if you’ll meet your great grandma Sue? I would imagine you might not in this life but I’m sure she’ll embrace you again in heaven whether she makes it back before you come, or waits anxiously for you after your life here. It’s a happy thought. No one loves you like family does.
She didn’t know that most of her grandchildren and children were coming into town. We drove with your grandpa and aunt Katelyn and got there at about 8 pm on Friday evening. She was so excited to see us! Your aunt Jocelyn flew into Oregon and met us there. We all got together on Saturday for burgers at Miners (they are as big as my face) and then we went to the church to set up. It was beautiful! Gold and blue for her 90th. She thought she was going to a church dinner and was pleasantly surprised when shewalked in to a half circle of all of the cousins singing, “happy birthday!” She has 6 children and the family grows and grows. From two people to many, many people. It’s strange to think that one day, I’ll hopefully be with you and your children and their children. It also struck me during the beautiful program how many people just one life touches and influences. She was “home” and safety to many.
She doesn’t have an ounce of guile in her body. My cousin Krista wrote the most beautiful poem that had us all in tears and it struck me how quickly life goes. I want to embrace and treasure each stage. Each soul is precious and each person can build a life filled with love, laughter and fulfillment despite challenges that everyone inevitably faces to help us grow. I used to think people were crazy when they said they were grateful for their trials, but I understand it now. You can’t grow into the person God wants you to be if your path isn’t filled with experiences that force you to expand.
We caught her headed to church today as we were headed out of town. I thought how sweet it was to see her heading to where she needed to be, faithful always. She had tears in her eyes she said, “it feels like a dream. I don’t want to wake up! I don’t want you to go.” I hope to develop her attributes. I brought my Lupron shots with me to the hotel. Your aunt Jocelyn couldn’t watch but your aunt Katelyn thought it was cool. These shots honestly aren’t that bad yet and I remember thinking during my first round that it would be smooth sailing if the shots were that easy. The other 3 shots coming up in November are the hard ones and for a couple weeks I’ll be giving myself 3 shots within an inch of my belly button, and the last 5 days before egg retrieval I’ll be giving myself 4 shots every morning. My belly gets so bruised!! I’m kind of terrified for that, honestly. And when mama says, “kind of,” she actually means totally and completely.
I’m scared of the raging hormones. But the good news is that it’s only for a couple weeks and then hopefully I’ll get you here. For now, this is what I’m taking every day:
1) Thyroid medication 30 minutes before eating anything.
2) Antibiotic for the polyp removal surgery from last Monday.
3) Pre-natal vitamin
4) The yeast infection pill, once a week for only two weeks (it worked and I’m all good now!)
5) Z pack for the next 5 days (Tyler is on a Z pack too) as a precaution
6) Lupron shot
7) Birth control pill (my friend joked the other day, “you know you’re not supposed to take that
the whole time, right? That’s what has been the issue this whole time!!”
8) A second antibiotic for the polyp removal surgery
I have my calendar taped to my mirror so I don’t forget anything. I think it would be really easy to forget and I always have to check my list twice! Just call me Santa.
Your dad has been there for all of the shots thus far and after each one, he makes me put the needle down and gives me a big, long hug while talking to me in baby talk (ha!) saying, “it’s okay. You’re doing such a good job. It’s time for your hug now.” He’s a good companion and I thank my Heavenly Father for him every single day!
Here’s to hoping I don’t go totally hormonal crazy kook before my next letter.
You’re worth it!