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To My Beautiful Child: Am I Turning Into a Baby or Having a Baby?

To My Beautiful Child· Twin Pregnancy

7 Jan
To my beautiful child,
Things are getting quite hysterical around here…real quick. First, there’s “exhausted” and then there’s “pregnant exhausted.” All I want to do is eat and then sleep, and then eat again, and sleep again. Either that or stare at a wall because I can’t muster the strength to move. Both could be equally satisfying. By the time I get to about 5 pm, I’m spent, and I have to try really hard to do, well, anything.

I’ve never been so happy to be so exhausted. 🙂 

I had every intention of coming home yesterday to clean the house. Your dad cleaned the whole house while I was napping on Saturday, and now somehow it’s messy again. I’m not sure how that happened…my bad. Instead of cleaning the house, I took a nap. It seemed like the right thing to do.

While sleeping at night or napping these days, I always makes sure to have two things. The first is my blanky. My blanket’s name is Binkers and the other half of her (she’s a girl…) got lost in a move a few years ago. I’m really glad she tore in two and my mom kept the other half. Being reunited with my trusty Binkers was such a relief. But seriously. Aunt Jocelyn and I used to drape Binkers up in a corner when we were making pretend haunted houses during October in our apartment or house growing up. That’s how thin she is…so see-through and yet so versatile! Not many blankets can be a spider web in the corner of the room and snuggle you in bed that very same night.

The second thing I like to sleep with these days is Mallow, the soft little bunny that aunt Jocelyn gave to you…but I’m thinking of keeping for myself. I’m, like, the most unselfish mom.

I’m starting to wonder if I am having a baby or digressing and turning back into a baby myself. Time will tell. Stay tuned. And it might be in everyone’s best interest if you start calling me Benjamin Button.

After my nap yesterday on my lunch break, I wanted to eat pizza for lunch but didn’t have time to cook the frozen pizza that was in the freezer so the only sensible thing to do was to go through the Little Caesars drive thru by my house. I have had the willpower to resist many times before and yet somehow, this time, I couldn’t summon that willpower anywhere. I didn’t look very hard. Okay fine, I could hardly drive there fast enough. A car pulled into the parking lot before me and was literally driving 3 MPH, which of course, to my pregnant appetite, was completely enraging. I looked for signs of distress…maybe she needed help? Maybe she fell asleep at the wheel? Nope. Just driving 3 MPH for the fun of it, in front of me, with no way of getting around her to the drive thru. The best part about the whole situation is that after she ordered her pizza and I was pulling ahead to order and to finally satiate my ever-growing hunger, I noticed that her license plate was surrounded by a frame that said, “Don’t Drive Stupid.” I think she needs to know that driving 3 MPH in front of a pregnant woman in the parking lot and drive thru of Little Caesars is the stupidest driving out there. The stupidest driving there is! I mean…I feel like she needs to know!! Someone needs to tell her.

Another thing to note is that I paid with cash because I wanted my pizza purchase to remain unnoticed. I mean, your dad seriously wouldn’t even care if I had pizza for lunch, but I was slightly ashamed of my lunch purchase. Paying with cash is untraceable. I went to all that effort of counting out the exact change which probably burned an extra 5 calories that I need and ended up just telling him that night anyway because he said he wanted pizza for dinner. I had to tell him why that didn’t sound good anymore.

When I got to work with the pizza, it was perfect timing because, while appearing quite generous in offering all of my colleagues a slice, they were already full from their lunches. Genius. A whole cheese pizza just for me, just like Kevin in Home Alone. I’ve always wanted that. It turns out that you, my little baby, wanted mostly just the cheese and not much bread. Who am I to deprive you of that?? So just the cheese (and a few bites of the crust here and there) it was.

One of my co-workers came by and put the pizza box in my hands a little later and wanted to take a picture of me. She thought it would be funny to document that I just found out I’m pregnant and that I got a whole pizza just for me…but she didn’t actually think it was mine and that I had, in fact, ordered a whole pizza for just for me. She started laughing so hard when I opened the box and she saw what I ate and that the whole hilarious situation that she had pictured in her head was actually real life. Don’t you love it when that happens? 😉 I’m a pregnant stereotype, and there’s no turning back now.

Well…I’m going to go snuggle Binkers, hop into my crib and drink my bottle now. Wish me luck!

You’re worth it!

xo

Mom (aka Benjamin)

Mallow likes to hold my hand while I sleep. 

pregnant after infertility
Have you ever seen someone so excited?
infertility blog

My actual expression when my co-worker found out that I had ordered a whole pizza for myself.
pregnant after IVF

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16 Comments

Previous Post: « To My Beautiful Child: HCG Levels Update!
Next Post: To My Beautiful Child: Family + Gratitude »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. PCP_MD says

    January 7, 2016 at 2:58 am

    So I totally went to little Cesar's today and had a pizza for lunch because of you!! LOL. My first trimester fatigue was INSANE! I felt like a walking zombie. It passed around week 10-11 but never have I ever felt crushing fatigue like that.

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 7, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      Ha ha ha that's amazing!! I'm sorry for being a bad influence. Or should I say…you're welcome 😉

      Reply
  2. Trisha says

    January 7, 2016 at 4:31 am

    I seriously love you Jenica. Best post ever! Next time call me and I'll eat a pizza with you. A nursing mom is just the same as a pregnant one when it comes to food 😉 ps nap away! After all you are growing a human or two 🙂

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 7, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      I love you!! Yes…now I know I have a partner when the hunger hits. I just had a green smoothie for breakfast…with a side of dark chocolate. I wish I was kidding.

      🙂

      Reply
  3. Sara says

    January 7, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    So funny! X Just out of curiosity, what is your job?

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      I work in software sales 🙂

      Reply
  4. Alecia says

    January 8, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    I love reading your blog and I'm so excited for you!! What other symptoms have you been having? It's great that you can talk about them, I hope to feel that soon too God-willing.

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:10 pm

      Thank you so much!! I am tired, slightly nauseous (especially if I don't eat every couple of hours), and that's about it for now! I wish you all the best 🙂

      Reply
  5. Ashley says

    January 8, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    You are so stinking hilarious! So funny…love reading your blog and Instagram. Yes, girl…go nap, nap, and then nap some more! I'm so happy for you guys! We are a few weeks ahead of you with one little nugget baby (due 8/9, our first!), and boy-oh-boy, the fatigue and nausea are the worst! But so worth it for our peanuts…I'm not complaining one bit! Some days all I can eat are toasted plain bagels with butter spread…and light blue Gatorade (only the light blue flavor!). Yesterday, I started eating a Hershey dark chocolate and had to spit it out (gross but true)…I just can't.even with some foods! Or more like a lot of foods! I know you can relate! My OB recommended B6 (50mg, twice a day) and Unisom (1/2 a tablet at bedtime) for the morning sickness and let me tell you, they work WONDERS! It's like a miracle combo. Go out and try it! Lots of mini meals and lots of protein+simple carbs are also helping me. Enjoy each moment! Even when you feel awful! HUGS!

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:11 pm

      Thank you so much for being so excited for me! I am thrilled for you as well!! Thank you for the suggestions 🙂 I am definitely enjoying each moment and it sounds like you are too. What a great attitude. Such an exciting time! xo

      Reply
  6. Briana Rider says

    January 9, 2016 at 12:55 am

    I love love your posts! I just found out at 7 wks I'm pregnant with twins from my ivf cycle! I couldn't be more thrilled, now the morning or all day sickness is beginning…. Uh oh. I can't wait to see what they find at your ultrasound, I hope it's twins ?!

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:11 pm

      Yay, how exciting for you!!! I bet it was so amazing to hear the heartbeats!! I can't wait for Friday to come (that's when we find out). Wishing you all the best!!!

      Reply
  7. April Heasley says

    January 9, 2016 at 4:04 am

    Jenica (love your name! You're going to have a tough time being creative naming your little one- the bar is set pretty high),

    I have been reading your blog for a while and even shared your story with friends and family having troubles conceiving. I am beyond overjoyed for a complete stranger and it's wonderful. Congratulations on the best news ever! He/ She/ (God willing maybe both?) is going to have the most loving parents ever! I cannot wait for you to experience all the joy your baby will bring into your life! Your blog has given me so much joy and motivation in my own life. It's about damn time someone got EXACTLY what they have been praying for! Sounds like it was your time. Best of luck in your pregnancy. It doesn't sound like you'll need much in the raising department. You two seemed to have most of it figured out! These letters will be something special one day for your child.

    Fondly,

    April

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:13 pm

      April – thank you so much for your kind message! I really appreciate it 🙂 We are so thrilled! I'm so glad that my blog gives you joy. It gives me joy to write it. "Joy" is my favorite word so I love that you used that 🙂

      Wishing you the very best!

      xo

      Jenica

      Reply
  8. Elisa Houston says

    January 9, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Hello! I met you at Amy's about a month ago, and you've been on my mind ever since. So I looked you up on Facebook, hoping I could get an update. I'm in tears this morning so happy for you. I truly pray everything continues to go well! When is your official due date?

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:14 pm

      Hi Elisa! I'm glad you tracked me down! It was so nice to meet you. My official due date is Sept. 5 🙂 I hope to run into you again! xo

      Reply

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Dear Warner, Were you looking down from heaven ju Dear Warner,

Were you looking down from heaven just smiling when I was STRUGGLING trying to decide if we wanted to do IVF again because you just knew you were worth it even when I didn’t yet? I can just picture you up there, waiting patiently with a little grin, knowing I could handle it even I didn’t yet. If I had only known YOU, it wouldn’t have been such a hard decision. And now I do!! Every day I get to know you better and it’s the happiest.

Makes me wonder what else I wouldn’t be scared of if I just knew how wonderful the “after” would be during the “hard.” Maybe it’ll help me trust God a little more? I think He’s got my back. I think He knows there is a lot of good in store for me…even when I don’t know it yet.

I love you and I’m so grateful for your JOY in our home. Thank you for loving your mama.

I’ll always be the luckiest.

xx

Mama

#5monthspostpartum #5montholdbaby #infertilityjourney #bedroomideas 

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When Taylor Swift tickets found ME 2 weeks ago fro When Taylor Swift tickets found ME 2 weeks ago from my good friend @jennie.theldsmissioncoach, I took it as a sign that it was meant to be!!!! ✨ What a FUN WEEKEND!! @jocelynstimpson @mal.bouchard met in Vegas and this is the story! 😍

Tips if you go to a concert on this tour:

✨ Dress up!! It was SO much fun to see everyone’s outfits!
✨ Expect everyone to be so nice 🥹 Taylor Swift fans are so sweet! There was a girl at the airport that saw we were going to the concert and gave us a friendship bracelet! 🤣🤍
✨ WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES!! Even if you have to change your planned outfit! I PROMISE this is a big deal 🤣 You stand/sit/dance for over 3 hours in the stadium just with her performance + the opener + walking time! Our legs and feet were tired by the end and we even had comfy shoes on! Some girls wore heels and were limping at the end 😭
✨ If you can, stay at a hotel within walking distance of the event venue! That made it SO much easier to get back afterward and you’ll be tired!
✨ Have FUN!!! Oh my goodness - the energy of this tour is UNREAL! Taylor Swift and her team have created something so magical! I think you’ll love it if you’re a fan!👏🏻

#erastour #erastouroutfit #erastourtaylorswift #erastourvegas #taylorswiftconcert #taylorswiftfan
No one cares. Enjoy the bite 🤣 #funnybuttrue No one cares. Enjoy the bite 🤣 #funnybuttrue
✨ Which blazer is your fav? I found my new fav b ✨ Which blazer is your fav? I found my new fav blazer in the PERFECT fit and length!! Got it in 3 colors because I’ll be wearing them a LOT. Which would you choose?!

Wearing a small for reference! Message below if you want the link and I’ll DM it to you!

I’m BACK to posting to my fav affordable fashion items and products here on this account! I’VE MISSED IT!!!! I’ve got the support I need to create time to do it now and your girl is BACK! For infertility support, you can head to @fearless.infertility 🤗🤗🤗 #affordablefashion #amazonfashionfinds #dealsandsteals
Fearless Infertility episode 103! Out today on all Fearless Infertility episode 103! Out today on all podcast platforms ✨ #podcastersofinstagram #podcasthost #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney
It’s my 36th birthday and I’m surrounded on al It’s my 36th birthday and I’m surrounded on all sides with people who are INCREDIBLE! 😭 People who encourage me, point out my strengths, forgive my weaknesses and think the room is better with me in it.

I think we all deserve this positive energy 🤍

I am blessed beyond measure to help women with infertility every day, and to be a mother, wife, daughter and friend. Life has painful lows and glorious highs and I’m so grateful to be a witness to it all.

Harris spent several hours making my favorite birthday gift to date. 🥹 (swipe to see). #36thbirthday #birthdaygirl #gratefulforlife #ilovepeople
You need people who GET YOU. Who CHEER you on. Who You need people who GET YOU. Who CHEER you on. Who encourage you in your losses and celebrate you in your wins. You need friends. You need coaches.

Do you have your support system set up to thrive??

Who feeds your soul?

Who makes you think bigger?

Who rejoices when you enter the room?

No one is perfect, but when you find these people for you, you will start to accept nothing less.

The negative, soul sucking energy you let in your life will simply start to fade without drama because you deny that type of energy.

Will you let it? Do you think you deserve it?

Tag your people below!

Thank you for being one of my people @brookecasanovas 🔥

#playbig #empoweredinfertility #riseup #ivfsuccess #fertilityrescripted
I just passed 100 episodes of the Fearless Inferti I just passed 100 episodes of the Fearless Infertility podcast!!!

100 times showing up and pressing record, hoping people would listen and that I wasn’t talking to myself.

100 episodes hoping to lighten at least ONE woman’s concerns so she wasn’t alone during infertility.

100 episodes of sharing tools that would remind women with infertility that they are stronger than they possibly know.

AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED!!!

🎉 To celebrate, I teamed up with some of my favorite (and incredibly generous companies!) to give TWO of you a MASSIVE prize package!!! 🎉

* A gift card from @coconu 
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To enter, write a review on Apple Podcasts + share a fav episode to your stories!

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