To my beautiful children, (I started writing this on 10/17)
Our biggest challenge the last few weeks has been to find the best option for Goldie to eat. I had to stop nursing because I didn’t have enough milk for both of you and I’m thinking it’s because I have mono and my body is under too much stress. Neither of you would take a full feeding from me, so I had to top off with a bottle which would take about an hour, plus pumping, plus feeding the other baby. I was getting too exhausted. We have been giving both of you a formula called Nutramigen since Goldie is allergic to milk protein. Harris is doing much better is way less gassy on it too. The problem we ran into a couple weeks ago, however, was that Goldie started getting really bad acid reflux. You would projectile vomit your entire bottle everywhere. One time it even went down my shirt and was pooling in my bra. I just sat there for a minute thinking, “What do I do?! What’s my first move?!!” Ha ha. My sweet girl. Another time you threw up all over the stairs. It just kept coming and coming and getting all over. I felt so bad for you!! I gave you a bath one night, which you absolutely love by the way, but when I took you out you couldn’t stop crying and I knew it was because your poor little throat was burning from the reflux. I had it while I was pregnant, so I know how awful it is. We both just sat crying on the floor of the bathroom by the tub. Harris had been crying earlier so before I put you in the tub, I grabbed him and put him in his little bathtub outside of the tub so we could all be together. The sweet boy just sat there and watched us cry for a few minutes. Being a mama is hard when you just want to take away the pain of your little peanut.
Beautiful babies ?
I had to stop breastfeeding due to low supply because of insufficient glandular tissue, and I tried everything. I mix fed as long as I could, but it was very hard and I was only feeding and looking after a very settled single baby! Well done for making the right decision for you and your family.
Thank you! It's so hard to not feeling guilty but I keep reminding myself that I am doing the very best that I can. You're awesome!
Hi there, (longtime follower) I love your posts to your twins & about your pregnancy. After doing IVF for two years we've just found out we're having twins too (only implanted one embryo so not sure how it happened just yet!). Although I'm so excited, there is certainly an element of how is my body going to do this? How will I survive once they're here? Your posts have given me a sense of calm about the adventure ahead so thank you! x
I'm with you sister, all those thoughts have passed through my mind too! I am SO excited for you. It's really hard, but the most rewarding and joy-filled gift of my life. Let me know if you ever need to chat! xo
Hi Jenica, I'm going through something similar with my twins! One of my babies refuses to nurse so I have been pumping and giving her breast milk fortified with formula. My other baby can nurse for maybe 8-10 minutes and then gives up so I have to top her off with a bottle (usually formula since I can't produce enough milk for both babies). It's exhausting trying to breastfeed, then topping off with a bottle, then pumping and having to wash gear in the middle of the night! My heart is broken from the baby who refuses to nurse. I kept trying and we would both get frustrated and I was worried she would associate me trying to feed her as an unpleasant experience and we wouldn't be able to bond. I know it's not her fault and she would if she could. I suspect my non-nurser has a reflux issue and we are going to see a GI specialist next week. Both my twins were in NICU and the non-nurser was there for almost a month with a feeding tube through her nose. It is heartbreaking when you want so much to breastfeed both of your babies but can't.
I feel your pain! It’s so hard!! In an idea situation, we would just nurse our babies, but not all situations work out. Just remember that feeding any newborn is hard. You’ll get through it! xo