To my beautiful children, (I started writing this on 10/17)
Our biggest challenge the last few weeks has been to find the best option for Goldie to eat. I had to stop nursing because I didn’t have enough milk for both of you and I’m thinking it’s because I have mono and my body is under too much stress. Neither of you would take a full feeding from me, so I had to top off with a bottle which would take about an hour, plus pumping, plus feeding the other baby. I was getting too exhausted. We have been giving both of you a formula called Nutramigen since Goldie is allergic to milk protein. Harris is doing much better is way less gassy on it too. The problem we ran into a couple weeks ago, however, was that Goldie started getting really bad acid reflux. You would projectile vomit your entire bottle everywhere. One time it even went down my shirt and was pooling in my bra. I just sat there for a minute thinking, “What do I do?! What’s my first move?!!” Ha ha. My sweet girl. Another time you threw up all over the stairs. It just kept coming and coming and getting all over. I felt so bad for you!! I gave you a bath one night, which you absolutely love by the way, but when I took you out you couldn’t stop crying and I knew it was because your poor little throat was burning from the reflux. I had it while I was pregnant, so I know how awful it is. We both just sat crying on the floor of the bathroom by the tub. Harris had been crying earlier so before I put you in the tub, I grabbed him and put him in his little bathtub outside of the tub so we could all be together. The sweet boy just sat there and watched us cry for a few minutes. Being a mama is hard when you just want to take away the pain of your little peanut.