To my beautiful child,
Hi! It’s so fun that I can sit here and write to you…and you’re in my belly! You feel so much closer. Your heart is now beating and that is AMAZING to me. I can’t believe that we put you into my uterus 2 weeks and two days ago, and your heart is already beating. You’re so small but you’re so alive.
What symptoms am I feeling now at 6 weeks?
1. Nausea. It’s not that bad yet and I can function normally, but I have to make sure that I eat regularly.
2. My belly is already getting bigger! This is something that I didn’t expect so early on. I’m sure that if anyone else looks at me, they wouldn’t be able to tell, but I definitely can. I am in love with a good pair of stretchy pants. They have my name written all over them. I can’t tolerate anything tight around my waist, so when I wear do wear jeans, I twist a hair tie around the button hole and connect it to the button so I have some extra room.
3. I’m tired and I love taking naps. Today after church, I took a 2 hour nap, and I could have kept sleeping but I forced myself to wake up so that I could sleep tonight. Growing a baby takes a lot of energy.
4. A few of the nurses at my fertility center have told me that this side effect could be from the progesterone suppositories that I have to put in my you-know-what every night, but I’ve had quite a bit of spotting. It’s random. Some days I don’t have a lot of of it, and some days I have quite a bit. It’s typically a brown or pink color and quite watery. It makes your mama nervous!! I know this is TMI, but I’m recording this whole experience, so you get to read about mama buying panty liners at the grocery store. It’s all for you, baby!
I was sitting in church today and started cramping a little bit and it was making me so worried that I was going to have a miscarriage. It stopped after a few minutes…maybe just gas or something? So glamorous, I know. I have to remind myself all the time to not live in fear of miscarriage. It’s hard because we want you here with us so much! It’s hard not to worry about something that means more to you than anything, but worrying doesn’t help, so I just have to focus on being positive.
As I was sitting in church today, a man gave a talk about his mission in Peru. He and his wife had just returned on a senior mission trip for 1.5 years. He was talking about the differences in lifestyle of those who live here, and those who live in the small villages of Peru. He talked about how the young missionaries that go to serve in Peru dream about the things like donuts that they’ll get to come home to in America, and those missionaries who come from the smaller villages in Peru will go home to dirt floors and won’t have running water. It really got me thinking about how incredibly lucky we are. We have hot running water, warm homes, carpet, and so much opportunity. My heart is so full with gratitude.
I also looked around at all of the families that love each other and I thought what a great plan God made for taking care of each other. Family. I saw an adult brother put his arm around his adult sister as he was holding her baby. I saw a cute little girl poking her head between her loving mom and dad to look around her. We are put into families to take care of each other and love each other like no one else can. It’s such a Christ-like love. What parent doesn’t think their children are amazing and want to help them reach their full potential? I think that the whole family unit is such a special concept.
Later on in young women, the lesson was about how we can have joy, even in our trials, and that going through certain trials is the only way that we can gain characteristics that we need. I believe this 100%. I know that I had to go through infertility to appreciate motherhood as much as I do now. I think we all need to learn something different and that’s why we have different trials. They’re hard and not fun to go through, but I’m grateful for them and I know that we have help from our Savior.
Alright, let’s leave you with something funny. I had an intense donut dream the other night. Yes, you read that right. I had three boxes of donuts; two boxes of glazed and one box of variety. I was in great distress because I wanted the box of variety donuts all to myself and I didn’t want to share them with your dad. I knew he would choose to each from that box though. My dream mixed with reality when I heard your dad get up for his shower in the morning and I was SO RELIEVED that I would be able to eat the box of variety donuts all by myself and not share with him. I felt like I had just won the lottery. OH MY GOSH! Ha ha hormone takeover! The amount of joy that selfishly hogging the variety box of donuts brought me is embarrassing.
You’re worth it!
Your daddy was sick today…so this is our Parcell Sunday Selfie 🙂 He stayed home from church and then we relaxed at home.
We have gotten to spend lots of time with your sweet cousin Isla! I hope you are as sweet as her. Please be as sweet as her 🙂 (okay, fine, I’ll still love you if you’re not. You got me).
Your dad is so cute with her and loves to her hold. I can’t wait to see him hold you!!!
Woke up at 8 am yesterday, had a bowl of cereal, went back to bed until 10:30, had your dad give me my shot at 11 when I rolled out of bed, and made a smoothie.