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Birth Story of our Miracle Twins

Birth Story· To My Beautiful Child

20 Jul
(Not written in a letter to our children time 🙂 ) See the first part of the story here.
After Doctor Glenn came in to tell me that he needed to deliver the babies, I called Tyler and told him. He was at home still recovering from deviated septum surgery. If we would have known we would be having the babies so soon, we would have pushed off the surgery! It really was horrible timing because I needed him to be there, but also wanted him to recover at home so that he could be present when the babies actually arrived. Oh, well! Roll with the punches. I was so excited that I would get to meet my babies soon, I tried to focus on that. I couldn’t believe it! I then called my mom and she came to hospital. I took a shower and my mom went home to get some supplies for me. Before I got in the shower, I seriously told her, “mom, you have GOT to come look at me.” I mean, someone had to witness the swelling and I had no shame; it was just unreal! My hips, butt, legs, ankles and feet were MASSIVE. We both laughed for a minute.
When she got back to the room, she blow dried my hair while I was in bed. It was then time to start inducing me! I got a steroid shot the night before, and then another one that night because it helps the babies’ lungs to mature faster if they are being born early. The nurse checked my dilation and put in the medicine next to my cervix at the same time. She had to reach her hand around Harris’ head and it was probably the most painful thing that I have felt! It was kind of traumatic.. When my mom came back in, we all talked about the epidural and we decided that now was a good time to get it, before they had to check my cervix again. The medicine they put in to help dilate my cervix also makes the inside burn and I did not want to do that again!
My in-laws Walt and Carol came at that time, and Walt stepped out of the room while I got the epidural. The anesthesiologist was really nice and said that I did really well and was tough! I think being so swollen actually helped. He said that he had to go in an extra inch to get past all of the swelling. I think because of that it was less painful which was nice; it was better than I expected. After I got the epidural, we all laid there and talked, and Drew and Rachel picked up and brought Tyler to the hospital. Heather and Casey and their kids, Lindsay, Katelin and Katelyn all came too.
I was in labor all night and I was dilating a centimeter about every hour once I started progressing. The nurse came in and kept checking me all night so I only got about an hour and a half of sleep. In the morning, July 13th, doctor Glenn came in and was so surprised that I had already dilated to a 3! Normally it takes about 3 or 4 pills to get to where I was so he said it was even more of an indication that my body was ready to get these babies out. I was in labor all day, and I had the epidural pump in my hand so I could press the button when I started to feel the pains more.
My mom called and asked if I wanted her to come and I told her I was trying to rest so I was by myself most of the day. Tyler’s dad brought him at about 4 pm and we tried to take a nap but we kept getting interrupted because the nurse had to check how much I was dilated and  and my mom came a bit later too because she was so excited! It was so nice to have them there. Tyler was so tired because he was still recovering and was pushing himself too hard; he should have been resting but there was no turning back now! The doctor said that was would have the babies that evening most likely. We were all really excited! Pretty soon I was at an 8 and my doctor came and checked me and things started to fly by! He could feel Harris’ head right when he put his hand in. He said that he had to deliver me and a c-section so he wanted to test and see who should go first. Looks like it was me! All of the sudden it was time to go and they gave Tyler a suit to put on for the operating room! I had to deliver in an operating room in case he couldn’t get out Goldie. Baby B, or the second baby to be born, is hard because when baby A is out, there is a lot more room and Baby B can completely flip around the wrong way with all the extra space.Tyler put his gear on, then they started to wheel my bed out of the room. My mom said goodbye at the door. I was crying because I was so nervous and it was all overwhelming. My doctor asked if I was okay and I told him yes, that I just nervous.

My doctor instructed the nurse what to do when baby A came out and where to place her hands on my stomach so that baby B wouldn’t go too far over and flip. He gave instructions to the nurses, and then it was time to push! He said that he was waiting for another contraction. They told me how to push and where to put my hands, which was underneath my legs and to pull towards me. My doctor was surprised that I still could move my legs! It was a good thing though; the anesthesiologist did a great job and the medicine numbed me where it should (down “there” 😉 ) but I could still move my legs quite a bit. When another contraction came, they told me to take a deep breath hold it, then to push and the nurse counted for 10 seconds. Then I took another deep breath and did the same thing. I think we rested for a minute, and then when another contraction came, I did the same thing. I can’t remember how many times I pushed, but it wasn’t very many. Harris came out at 6:31 pm and we got a little cry right when he came out! The doctor held him up, said, “this is your blood, not his” to reassure me, and then handed him to the doctor’s who put him on a bed and started to make sure he was okay.

Another contraction came, and when the doctor could see that Goldie was in a good position, I pushed. I felt like my head was going to pop off each time! I told my doctor that and he said that sometimes people will pop blood vessels. I wanted to push as hard as possible but I was legitimately concerned that my veins in my head would pop! I pushed a couple of times through contractions, but Goldie kept flipping the wrong way. Tyler told me later that he was getting concerned because it was taking longer than expected. In between one of the contractions, one of the doctors asked me if I wanted to hold Harris. I got to hold my baby boy for the first time while his sister was still in my belly! I also got to see Tyler hold him and it was one of those moments that I will never forget. Tyler has wanted to be a dad for years, and I loved seeing him hold his son for the first time. All of the sudden, another contraction came on and the doctor said, “okay, it’s time to go to work!” I handed Harris back to Tyler. It was a little chaotic because I had to start pushing right away!

Finally, after about 15 minutes, we got our precious girl out at 6:45 pm and she wasn’t breathing right away so the doctor cleared her nose and mouth. He cut her umbilical cord and we got a nice cry out of her! They whisked her away to the next room to work on her. It was hard for me to breathe so they gave me some oxygen up my nose. It was now time to deliver both placentas. My doctor pushed his hand on my belly to try to get them in the right position and it really hurt so he asked the nurse to get the anesthesiologist again and gave me some medicine through my IV. I was bleeding pretty badly at first, and then it stopped. He said that he was glad he could wait the 5 minutes for the medication to start working because if I had been hemorrhaging, he would have had to get the placentas out right away. My mouth was completely dry so I asked if I could have a drink or ice, and the doctor asked one of the nurses to get me some ice. When the medicine started to kick in, I couldn’t feel the bad pain any more, and he delivered both placentas. I actually didn’t even get a glimpse of them! I was always curious as to what they would look like, but I was so out of it on medication that I laid there trying to breathe deeply and ate a few ice chips.

Since Goldie kept flipping, I tore and the doctor had to stitch me up. We didn’t think I would tear because the babies were small. He took his time doing a good job with the stitching. When he was done, it was time to wheel me back to my room. As soon as I got to the room and was rolling in, my body started going into shock and I started shaking uncontrollably. This was the worst part about the delivery. It started to hurt my jaw and my neck. I felt so cold and I was shaking SO hard. My sweet mom met at the door, and was surprised and said, “she’s shaking.” She then held my head and laid with me on the bed, trying to help me relax. She even laid on top of me because she knew that the extra weight would help with the shaking. Finally, after what seemed like an hour (it could have been, I can’t remember), the nurse called my doctor and asked if she could give me some medicine to help relax my muscles. She put it in the IV and my body finally started to calm down. That was by far the worst part about delivering!

Harris weighed 4 lb, 1 oz and Goldie weighed 3 lbs, 14 oz. Goldie was 17 inches long and Harris was 17.5 inches long.

All of our family arrived and Tyler took them all, 3 people at a time, into the NICU to visit the babies. He said that after I delivered them, he spent about an hour in there watching the doctors work on them. He said that he didn’t want to leave because he was nervous that they wouldn’t let him back in 🙂 After he got the information that he could come and go, he brought all of our family in to visit them. I was laying on the bed back in my room and very out of it. My father-in-law fed me some grapes, everyone would help with giving me ice chips, and my sweet mom fed me a turkey sandwich. I hadn’t eaten anything in 24 hours. A couple hours later (I had to ask Tyler how long because my reference for time was way off), the nurse checked me to make sure that I was still looking okay down under 😉 and then they transferred me to a wheelchair. I was freezing so they wrapped me up in warm blankets. They wheeled me to the NICU to see my babies. I forgot that this happened and a couple days ago I was looking through photos and was reminded that I had gone to see them! After I saw them in the NICU, they took me up to the Mother and Baby floor to a new room. This room was a lot smaller. I got settled in with the help of the nurses, Tyler, my mom and in-laws.

The nurses woke me a up few hours later to pump and I have been pumping every 3 hours since. My colostrum came in right away the first pump which I was honestly so surprised about! I think it’s amazing that our bodies know what to do. Truly a miracle, really, that our bodies can grow humans and then know what to do feed them.

The following morning I woke up and felt unbelievably horrible! I was still on the magnesium sulfate IV and everyone, all the nurses, doctors and anyone I have talked to has said it makes you feel awful. My doctor came in and told me he was really excited about my babies because he said that he hadn’t expected them to do so well being born so early. He told the nurses that they could take me off of my IV’s. They did that, took out my catheter, and helped me to the bathroom. It’s a miracle that I made it the bathroom with how horrible I felt. It was only a few feet away, and I took it really slowly so I wouldn’t throw up or fall down, and I made it. A blood clot came out and I looked up at the nurse and said, “what is that?!” Oh man…nurses are incredible!! They see you at your most vulnerable you have ever been in your entire life, and they lovingly help you through it. I was so blessed by some incredible nurses while I was there.

Thursday was a blur. The magnesium sulfate was still in my system. I had people trying to come in to talk to me, like the lactation consultant, and it was all so overwhelming because my body and brain just wanted to sleep. I talked to my mom and told her that I needed her to leave work and come help me. I had forgotten to have Tyler bring my glasses and my face and eyes were so swollen that I couldn’t put in my contacts so it was really hard to deal with everything and also have everyone and everything be so blurry. My mom drove to my house, got the glasses and drove to the hospital to help take care of me. She worked for several hours with my insurance to order a breast pump. Tyler still couldn’t drive himself at this point because he was still taking hydrocodone for his surgery and he had a follow up appointment that same morning. The best timing ever 😉 His sister dropped him off after the appointment later that afternoon and we went to go visit our babies. OUR BABIES! We still can’t get over it.

Tyler and I talked for a while by ourselves in the room, and I cried a lot too! Whew, what a crazy couple of days. My body was exhausted to the extreme. I needed to have some one-on-one time with my Tyler.

After he left, my mom came back and we decided that we needed to go see the babies again! It was getting a little late but we love them and couldn’t stay away. We happened to show up at the NICU right when they were going to do their first sponge bath, so we got to help. The nurse showed me how to do it and I helped give Harris his first bath. After that I was tired and needed to sit down and pump so my mom got my pumping supplies back in the room and I sat there and pumped while she helped give Goldie her first bath. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my whole life! Goldie was crying and didn’t like it at first, so the nurse gave her a little bit of sugar water on her binky and her eyes opened wider and she started sucking her binky so hard! It was SO cute and one of my favorite moments so far with her. She then laid there and sucked her binky while they washed her hair and it made me laugh because I felt like she thought she was having a spa day or something. Her precious hair being combed…oh, I couldn’t even handle the cuteness!

When we got back to the room, I laid in bed and I was feeling kind of anxious so my mom laid there with me on my bed for a little bit. A girl always needs her mama, whether she’s 9 or 29 like me. She had been working so hard taking care of me that she was exhausted too!

The next day I woke up and I was starting to feel a lot better than the day before. I ate my breakfast, continued to pump every 3 hours, and when Tyler got to the hospital, we did skin to skin with our little babies. Harris LOVED it on his daddy’s chest, you can definitely tell that he is our cuddler boy. Goldie liked it but didn’t soak it up as much as Harris did. He completely settled down and she would whimper every now and then but still loved snuggling with her mama. I think she had more room in my uterus because his head was pushed down into my pelvis, so I think she’s used to more room and he likes being snug.

I got checked out of the hospital on Friday night. Tyler stopped to get us some burritos on the way home, and he got up with me every 3 hours to help me with pumping. I would pump and then he would carefully use the syringe to get every single drop of colostrum for the babies and put it into a container.  We went back to the hospital the next day to see our babies and did skin to skin with them together on both Saturday and Sunday. Tyler got to do skin to skin with them both at the same time and he had changed both of their diapers twice before I did. He’s a good daddy!

Now…onto their health! Goldie needed a PICC line to help regulate her blood sugar and she needed a CPAP mask to help her breathe at first. Then she got off of it, and Harris needed it. They both needed to be under the lights because their bodies weren’t getting rid of their red blood cells fast enough. Goldie is pretty content sprawling out, but my poor baby snuggler Harris hates not being bundled up. They found some liquid in his lungs and suspected pneumonia so he had to have IV for his antibiotics, and they found a heart murmur and discovered that one of the valves in his heart hadn’t closed so they put him on Tylenol every 6 hours for 5 days and hope that will help it. Seeing him with his CPAP on absolutely broke my heart because I could tell that he was so uncomfortable. He would always have foam/spit coming out of his mouth. They also had to sedate him to put a medicine in his lung to help clear up the liquid, so he had some blood coming out of his mouth. One time he cried so hard that his throat became raspy and I started crying too. It is absolutely torture to see your tiny baby boy struggle like that; it broke my heart! Every time I would talk about him I would start crying because I would picture his sweet little body struggling.

Both babies were tested for LCHAD which stands for Long-chain 3 hyroxyacyl CoA Dehydrogense. Basically, it’s a disease where they can’t digest all fats including those in breast milk. It’s really difficult and you have to be on a special diet your whole life if you have it. A couple of Tyler’s cousins children have it, so we wanted to be extra careful and wait to give them my breast milk until we found out they were negative. Tyler’s sweet cousin lost her baby boy 3 days after he was born because they didn’t know it was an option that he could have it, so now the whole family is starting to get tested. The babies have been eating a non-fat formula and I have been freezing my milk, which came in while I was pumping at the hospital on Sunday.


Today I woke up from my nap and I had the best voicemail of my life from one of their doctors. They both came back negative for LCHAD so they are starting them on my breastmilk today!! Harris was able to go on room air yesterday and is tolerating it very well, he is done with his antibiotics and his heart murmur sounds like it might be getting more quiet which means they hoping that the Tylenol is working. Answered prayers!! I couldn’t bear to see him with his CPAP on because his face getting so swollen and he was looking miserable. I know God heard my prayers.


Being their mama is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. They have the most special, innocent spirits and I like to just sit by their little cribs and marvel at their tiny, perfect features. I was just staring at Goldie’s precious little legs the other day while I was pumping by her. Her little calves, her ankles, her toes. Their bodies are so beautiful. Every single hard thing I did to get them here; the procedures, the shots, the tears; it was all worth it. We love our babies so much! Tyler texted me yesterday and asked, “are you with the kids?” and I couldn’t believe that we get to have children. My little family of four is my greatest gift.

All photos are from Caitlin Nicole Photography. She captured the most incredible day of our lives. Her Web site is here, and her Instagram account is here. Thank you, Caitlin!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Amanda says

    July 20, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story! Your babies are so lucky to have you as their mama! Continuing to pray for their development so they can join you at home soon!

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      July 23, 2016 at 3:49 pm

      Thank you so much; we really appreciate your prayers! xo

      Reply
  2. Erin Fairchild says

    July 20, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    What powerful photos. Your mom sounds amazing! And congrats to you mama!! You have two babies now!! <3

    Her Heartland Soul
    herheartlandsoul.com

    Reply
  3. Jennifer Carroll says

    July 20, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    Your birth story is amazing to read and I thank you for putting so much detail into it! You are an amazing mama and I can't wait for you to welcome your two babies to their home. Keep staying strong, you're amazing!

    Reply
  4. Amber says

    July 21, 2016 at 12:17 am

    What a beautiful story of God's faithfulness!!!

    Reply
  5. Michelle says

    July 21, 2016 at 3:23 am

    When will they leave NICU?

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      July 23, 2016 at 3:55 pm

      We don't know that; it just depends on when the babies are stable enough 🙂 They say to expect on their due date which was September 1st but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a little sooner. They are my little strong babies!

      Reply
  6. Anonymous says

    July 21, 2016 at 3:24 am

    I have so enjoyed following your special journey. Beautiful family! Congratulations!

    Reply
  7. Anonymous says

    July 21, 2016 at 3:24 am

    When will they be able to come home!!

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      July 23, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      We don't know that; it just depends on when the babies are stable enough 🙂 They say to expect on their due date which was September 1st but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a little sooner. They are my little strong babies!

      Reply
  8. Julia says

    July 21, 2016 at 3:29 am

    I had preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome with my first and mag sulfate is the devil!!!! I literally thought I was dying. Between a c-section, my blood pressure at 220/110, and the mag I have never felt worse in my entire life. You are such a strong mama and I am so happy that you are feeling better and the babies are doing well! Hang in their mama!

    Reply
  9. Lura says

    July 21, 2016 at 4:05 am

    Absolutely beautiful!I am so so happy for you and Tyler. Congrats momma!

    Reply
  10. Shelly Cunningham says

    July 21, 2016 at 4:41 am

    Jenica, I am so happy for you and sweet Harris & Goldie. I loved reading your birth story– how you share all the details!– and am so grateful God blessed you and Tyler with these babies. I will be praying for you during their NICU time and as you bring them home. You're in for a great adventure!!!
    (Fellow twin mama) Shelly

    Reply
  11. Irene says

    July 21, 2016 at 4:59 am

    Wow congrats Jenica and Tyler, what a perfect birth story. Even with you feeling awful at some point. So glad all went well.Best wishes to you two as you embark on your journey as parents. You two are wonderful. Xxx

    Reply
  12. Katie says

    July 21, 2016 at 5:07 am

    This is so sweet. Birth is just the most incredible thing! I'm so glad your precious babies are here and safe!

    Also, I have to say that I teared up over the story of your mom laying on top of you to help with your shakes. I think that is such a beautiful demonstration of a mother's love.

    Thank you for sharing your story!

    Reply
  13. Emma Sears says

    July 21, 2016 at 5:09 am

    Such a precious birth story. And the pictures are completely beautiful! You're so strong after going through so much!! And your babies are strong little fighters too. So happy for you!

    Reply
  14. Tracy Carson says

    July 21, 2016 at 6:03 am

    You are just a delight. Thank you for sharing! I too have been following your journey through IG for a while and have always been drawn to your honesty and vulnerability. It comes as no surprise that you write with such eloquence with that same thread here. I am a Mama to three boys in San Diego, CA. We are Christians and so much of what you share is the same exact emotion that my husband and I felt each time. The anxiety, joy, relief, fear all rolled into one. It's truly amazing that God orchestrated life this way. Congratulations on your miracle babes, continued prayers for their growth and development.

    Reply
  15. Sheena Leimon says

    July 21, 2016 at 8:08 am

    Such a wonderful story. The photos are so moving, they really capture the emotion of your experience. So pleased to hear how well your beautiful babies are doing. Best wishes fro London to your family of four! X

    Reply
  16. Anonymous says

    July 21, 2016 at 9:50 am

    Welcome Harris and Goldie! You have God and the best parents,watch out world!

    My faith is strengthened by the gratitude you displayed. You enjoyed the process trusting God through it all. Thank you!

    Reply
  17. Whitney {Bump To Baby Life} says

    July 21, 2016 at 10:39 am

    Congrats to your and your precious family!!! You have not had it easy but have gone through this and welcomed your little miracles with such grace. What a great mama you are! Every hard choice, tear, shot, NICU minute…. All totally worth it. I wish you the best!!!

    Reply
  18. Catherine Glazner says

    July 21, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Hello!! I just binged read your whole blog on your journey and the picture of your beautiful mom hugging you, and you are crying, just made me ugly cry on my couch. You are HER baby. Made me just bawl. I don't know you, but I feel like I KNOW you now, and I am so happy for you! So SO happy for you and your tiny babies. I am so glad they are improving so quickly and that you are feeling better. Wish I could give you a hug in person, but here is a cyber hug!!! So much love to you and your beautiful family! ?

    Reply
  19. Hannah says

    July 21, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    Oh my gosh, these pictures made me cry! So beautiful and touching! I can't tell you how thrilled I am for you and your family. Praying for a speedy recovery for you and the babies.

    Reply
  20. Briana Rider says

    July 21, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    Crying at this beautiful story and your pictures! How amazing it is to have twins. Congrats!

    Reply
  21. Karly Andrew says

    July 21, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Jenica! Congrats on your babies! Thanks for sharing your sweet story. I pretty much cried through the whole thing. So glad your precious babies are doing well and hopefully you are recovering well too! So happy for you!

    Reply
  22. whizdoms says

    July 21, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    I know the poor timing first hand! I was told I needed an emergency c-section while my husband was at home sick with a stomach bug!!! I don't know how he didn't pass out several times that day. He ended up getting sick again a few days later just from not ever having time to recover. Our doctor was great, though, and still let him in the operating room 😉 Congrats on those gorgeous babies! My son was born at 32 weeks and we were home within 24 days! Miracles happen!

    Reply
  23. Amanda Bajin says

    July 22, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story! It is so very beautiful. God Bless your entire precious miracle family. xoxo <3 The pictures are so very amazing. After 5 years, our miracle is due 11/5. I am definitely considering a photographer to capture this moment.

    Reply
  24. Anonymous says

    July 22, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    I love your images they are so raw and real and brought me to tears. I hopened nothing but the best for your beautiful family.

    Reply
  25. k8would says

    July 24, 2016 at 12:57 am

    Jenica, what a beautiful story! I've been quietly following your and your husband's journey, and I am so happy for your little family. Lots of love and happy tears for those lovely little babes.

    Reply
  26. Lori says

    July 26, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    Thanks for Sharing Jenica! God bless you and the babies.

    Reply
  27. Anonymous says

    August 5, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    God is forever true to His word. Praying for your beautiful family. You did so well Mama..

    Reply
  28. June Pope says

    August 9, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    You are so brave to record every minute of your labor and delivery. It's also very wise to be able to recall every eventful moment because soon it will be a distant memory and your days will fill up with all the love and laughter of your new happy family. Blessings to you and all of your extended family. God has truly blessed you and I pray for you all, and that your body will soon return to normal(ish) so you can take care of those babies.

    Reply
  29. Justine Wack Wood says

    August 9, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Your mom is such an angel! Amazing how helpful she was to you throughout the whole process. Congrats, they are just dolls 🙂

    Reply
  30. Taylor Jenkins says

    December 13, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    I have come back to this blog several times because I think it’s one of the most gracious and beautiful birth stories I have ever read. I came back today because I wanted to share the link with my sweet cousin who is going through the exact same thing you went through with her twins. She is almost 30 weeks and they are monitoring her for preeclampsia. She is a labor and delivery nurse and very informed but I think it helps for her to see the personal side of things. Thank you for being this vessel of words for her. Many blessings to you!

    Reply
    • Jenica Parcell says

      December 17, 2017 at 9:59 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind comment. I really, really appreciate this! Preeclampsia was really, really hard and I wish the very best for your cousin.

      Thank you for being a light!

      Reply

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jenicaparcell

✨ Coach for women w/ infertility + @fearless.infertility podcast host
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Jenica Parcell | Infertility Support | Affordable Fashion
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Quality of life and a happy spouse is a win-win.

Be sure to use the link in my bio to schedule your free sleep screening. You can use code JENICA to receive a free sleep screening, which includes an in-office consultation and at-home sleep test, along with $50 off your oral appliance.

Sweet dreams my friends.
I cannot BELIEVE it was only a short year ago that I cannot BELIEVE it was only a short year ago that I was deciding if I could handle doing another frozen embryo transfer…and now LOOK at him 🥹 It was one of the hardest years of my entire life. Going through things I don’t wish on anyone. But look at us now 😭 And looking internally…the things I’ve learned.

Tell me about something a year ago for you that you didn’t know you’d get through and can’t believe you are where you’re at 🤍👇🏻 #infertilityjourney #ivfsuccess #frozenembryotransfer
This is it. Not just in motherhood, although moth This is it.

Not just in motherhood, although motherhood really amplifies it, but in life.

It’s the fast days that are loud and sunny.

It’s the slow days that are quiet and snowy.

The mismatched pajamas and the dressed to the nines.

It’s the mess.

It’s the organization and order.

It’s the to-do list that gets crossed off and the to-do list that doesn’t.

It’s in the allowing of both.

It’s in perhaps preferring one over the other, but not judging either.

It’s in the wisdom that both will pass and each have lessons to teach.

Neither is wrong.

Both are allowed.

This is it.

#infertilityjourney #ivfsupport #infertilitysupport #infertilitycommunity
It might feel impossible in the middle of it and y It might feel impossible in the middle of it and you might question everything.

“I have no idea what the future will bring.”

“Will everything I’m putting myself through be worth it?”

“What am I doing?”

“Am I making the right choice?”

But your moments will come. Trust that and let it bring you peace.

The alternative is feeling anxious, which is also completely acceptable and normal, but remember that you also have the option of trusting and feeling peace, too. There is room for both.

You’re not alone in this 🤍

#infertility #ivfjourney #infertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #infertilitycoach #infertilitycommunity
It was a year ago that I decided to jump into the It was a year ago that I decided to jump into the deep, black ocean of IVF again. I knew what I was doing this time and I was filled with fear because…I knew.

When I found out I was pregnant, the fear was my secret. Only a close few knew.

And this space was filled with tears, uncertainty…soul reaching prayers.

Sleepless nights, gut wrenching heartache.

Secrets that I hold close to my heart.

And then he came.

And the healing began.

And the mama, this mama, knew she did it.

That black ocean had swallowed her whole and she’d do it again for the light that is him.

Once she swam to the surface, and jaggedly gasped in the fresh air and felt the sunshine on her face, she knew she would do it all over again.

For this sacred chaos.

Tonight as I was moving the bassinet out of my room, I stopped. The room will soon be cleared. The shelves emptied and the order restored. And I can’t believe that the ocean was conquered. The chaos was where I found the strength and the beauty.

The sacred, precious chaos.

#infertility #infertilityawareness #ivfjourney #ivfpregnancy #ttccommunity #ttcjourney #ttcsisters #ttctribe
FEEL BETTER and get healthy this year starting tod FEEL BETTER and get healthy this year starting today in the 7-week LEAN program with daily accountability and the “why” behind the actions you’re taking for LIFETIME health and wellness (not just a quick fix that will leave you frustrated, confused and looping again and again).

This is NOT the all or nothing strategy that you’re used to.

Yes, you can eat the things you love still!

No, you won’t feel guilty.

Sign up today for the Jan. 16th start date and use code JENICA (any time) for $10 off! Amanda will put us in a group together so we can check in every day.

I’m excited for you to experience this! LEAN program link in my bio. #healthandfitness #weightlosshelp #wellnesscoach
I know you’re independent, I know you’re capab I know you’re independent, I know you’re capable, I know you can conquer anything…BUT you were never meant to do all of this alone. 🤍

Allow yourself to be supported.

Are you denying help anywhere? Are you not asking for support where you could?

Is this hard for you? Is this easy for you? Tell me below! 🤍 #fearlessinfertilityschool #infertilitysupport
It’s a big deal. You’re a big deal! Just sayin It’s a big deal. You’re a big deal! Just sayin’ 👊🏼💪🏼👏🏻 #slowclap #yourenotalone #infertilitysupport
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