What an incredible ride this last month has been, something that a year ago I never would have
expected would be in my path. When you want to start your family, you think it will take a few months at most, but life has taken an unexpected curve for me, just as it does to all of us at various points. Although the last couple of years have been hard and filled with blood, sweat and tears (literally!), I have also been absolutely privileged to get to know people and see the really good side of people that I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to do an infertility fundraiser if I hadn’t experience it myself.
Why did I do it? I was so relieved when starting to look into infertility treatments to know that my
insurance would cover most of it. Looking back, I feel that this is why I was led to my job among other things. I know God has a plan for us.
A few months ago we decided (back and forth, back and forth) to share our infertility story and once I made that decision I felt such a wave of relief. It was like I felt free again and that I wasn’t hiding such a difficult part of my life. Writing for me is really therapeutic and I’ve found that this blog has become a place where others who have gone through this have found a place of solidarity and comfort as well. I’ve been completely amazed at how common this is and how many of you have expressed that you are in the same boat. We can do it together, and that’s a much less lonely place to be.
It is my belief that God gives us our agency to make the big leaps, and then directs us. It’s our choice ultimately, and sharing our infertility story was a big leap for me. I would say that I’m a fairly private person, and when no one knew our story, it was safe. I had my own little hole of hardship and it was mine, and I think that when we share our trials with others, it leaves us feeling vulnerable. What an incredible experience it has been to share my trials with you, though. I don’t have to bear the weight alone, and I think that’s what God wanted me to know all along.
After I took the big leap and shared our story, the thought came to me that I could use my blog as a
resource for good to help others who are in our same shoes. I feel like God whispered in my ear that this was perhaps why I started my blog all along, although I didn’t realize it at first. When I prayed about who I could help, I really meant it this time. I know that sounds kind of funny, but I’ve prayed before to help others in the past with a hesitancy in my heart because I was scared that if I really meant it, God would put something in my path that was a little too big for me to handle. This time when I prayed for someone to help, I meant it with my whole heart. The interesting thing about focusing outside of myself and my own problems is that I’m the one who has been helped. My heart has been the one that has been healed.
I have had overwhelming experiences of pure gratitude and joy throughout this process. Some of these include:
- Waking up the second day of the fundraiser to find that my goal on Go Fund Me to raise money had already been exceeded. I really thought that the commissions from my blog would be the main source of funding. I was wrong. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
- I saw a donation come in from my sister on Go Fund Me and I texted her telling her that she was too generous. She texted me back and said she would give her whole paycheck if it meant that Tyler and I or another couple could have a baby. I tried to hold back the tears in my work meeting after that (bad timing!!) because it’s such a privilege to get a front row seat to other’s generosity.
- Many emails and comments from incredible women who are struggling with infertility, letting me know that they really appreciate that they are not alone. Emails and comments from women letting me know that I’m not alone and they know that God has not left me to handle this on my own. It amazes me that people take the time out of their day to bring sunshine to someone they don’t know.
- On the last day of the fundraiser, a donation of $1,000 came in. $1,000!! I sat there speechless when I saw the notification. I saw donations come in from my friends and family members that were so incredibly generous. You guys helped me share the message through social media. I will never forget your support.
- Reading and hearing other’s stories of infertility heartaches and successes. You sweet angels. Thank you for opening your heart to me!
I want to thank Jared and VoNique for putting their story out there for the world to see. It’s scary (I
know this), but it has given me the opportunity to see such a beautiful side of life. To see other people rooting for me. My heart is so full and I am just so incredibly grateful.
So…how much did we raise?? The grand total is….$4,307.00. My goal was $2,000!!!
I love you guys! Thank YOU!
Way to go!!! You did an amazing thing!
Her Heartland Soul
http://herheartlandsoul.com