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To My Beautiful Child: Life is Tough but so are You

3rd round of IVF· To My Beautiful Child

24 Nov
To my beautiful child,
I am feeling ONE BILLION times better today. Like, seriously. I don’t think I have ever felt so horrible in my entire life as I did on Thursday night and Friday morning of last week. I am starting to feel like myself again today because my body is starting to feel relatively normal and my tummy is deflating. I can’t even tell you how good that feels. I can walk without hunching over! 
We got a call from our embryologist (who is so incredibly kind) on Saturday and he told us that he was able to freeze 3 more embryos that reached the proper stage of maturity. This means we have 9 total!! This makes us so happy and relieved for the future. It would nice to never have to do the egg retrieval again. The embryologist emailed us a photo of the new embryos and he said, “cute little things!” It made me smile. There are good people in this world.
Can I just tell you how grateful I am for your dad? You’re so lucky that you get him. He’s going to make you laugh when you feel like crying. He’s going to jump on the bed with you. He’s going to come up with fun ideas and be the one that you play with. He’s going to come up with funny songs that will make you smile. He’s going to make your eyes sparkle with the way he sees the world. That’s what he is to me. I was thinking as we were lying in bed on Saturday morning about how special family is. I was thinking how sweet it will be to have a baby with the one that I love most. 
I woke up this morning feeling blue. I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Honestly, most of the time I have been positive and truly happy throughout this process. I am so grateful for my wonderful life and all of my experiences. This morning I was feeling down though. I was thinking how sad it was that so many good people want to start their families and it’s just so hard. The waiting room at the fertility center was packed on Friday. I was thinking that something that should be so natural…well…isn’t. I dragged myself out of bed and tried to think about what would make me happy and I decided that what would make me happy would be to do something for someone else and stop focusing on myself. It’s amazing that when you focus on others, it also lifts you up. So, technically, focusing on others is selfish because it makes you feel so good 😉 I made a yummy dinner for your dad tonight. Tri-tip french dip sandwiches, Asian salad and raspberries. Also, I feel like I still need to do some other good deeds because I benefited by eating this delicious meal myself….so…woops? I’m excited to see his happy face when he gets home to try it. I finally have enough energy again so I’m going to come up with some good things to do this week to keep the focus outward.
When I opened my inbox earlier today, I saw the nicest email from someone who reads this blog. It was exactly what I needed to hear to encourage me. It made my eyes misty because I know it was an answer to the question in my heart this morning as I woke up. My Heavenly Father loves me. Here is what the email said (I asked her if I could share it):
“I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been following your story for a
little while now and I feel so inspired by you. We tried for 3 years to
get pregnant and after 3 failed IUI’s, we finally got pregnant with
boy/girl twins from a frozen embryo transfer (we never tried a fresh
transfer by recommendation from our doctor) and now they’re almost 7
months old! So though our journeys are different and stories are not the
same, I so relate to you and am having major flashbacks to when I was
doing all of my shots and medicines. You seem so positive on your
Instagram but I know you have your share of really hard days too. I’m
just here to tell you that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I’m
sure you’ve had so many people tell you their success stories, but I was
feeling impressed to write you and add my own. One day you’ll have your
baby (or babies maybe!) and all of this will seem so far behind you. I
have a picture of ALL of my shots/pills/patches/creams- literally
everything I ever took as a part of this and I saw it the other day and
was surprised at how much there was. It seems like a lifetime ago
already.

Also wanted to share this quote with you from Joseph F. Smith-
“Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting.
We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we
want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.”

And I truly believe that. I’m not a perfect mother by any means, but I
do believe I’m a better mother than I would have been, had I not
experienced this  trial. I spent many exhausting nights reminding myself
of that with two little newborns- that I spent a lot of time on my
knees praying and pleading for little ones to keep me up all night, and
it made me so grateful to have them and made the lack of sleep a little
more bearable.

Anyway. Didn’t mean to ramble so much. I admire you and I pray that
everything will fall into place for this to be your successful round of
IVF. That will be one very loved baby whenever he or she makes their
arrival :)”

 
I am so incredibly grateful for those people that act on the impressions that they have. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have heard what I needed to hear from her. I love that she said that when we want something for so long, the waiting makes it so much more precious. You are so precious to me, little one. I haven’t even seen you and you are precious to me. 
I’m also so very grateful for people who pray for me. I always had a testimony that prayer really works, because I’ve felt the strength and peace that comes from prayers when I pray for myself. I’ve often heard people say that they can “feel” the prayers of others but to be honest, I’m not sure if I actually believed them. I thought it was a nice thing to say to thank people for praying for them. Now I know what it means to feel others’ prayers in my life. My burden is lifted by those prayers.
My last thought for you is how tough circumstances really strengthen your self confidence. I have always thought that I have a low pain threshold and that I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to pain. Guess what? I’m not a baby!! I can’t be when I give myself this many shots and feel so horribly for this long. I can’t be when my tummy feels like it’s about to pop and I can hardly breathe, but I move forward anyway. I’m tough and I fight like a girl. I can do hard things.
I know that I’m going through all of this for many reasons, and for learning many things. I love you for that. Thank you for helping me to be better.
You’re worth it.
xo

Mom 

 
Here are our weekly Parcell Sunday Selfies 🙂 Your dad wanted to sit on a rock in front of our house for our first family photo with you (hopefully you are one of those embryos!) He thought it seemed more family-photo-like. He makes me laugh so hard. 
Click here for my skirt.
frozen embryo transfer

This is your dad being your dad…farting right before the picture was taken. World’s best farter or world’s best father?
 
what to expect during IVF

infertility blog

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    November 24, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Yay! So excited for you 🙂 during my ivf journey just knowing my embryos were freezable quality gave me so much piece of mind. Its no longer IF you get pregnant but WHEN ☺

    Reply
  2. Elena @ baby Ridley bump says

    December 11, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Just reading through your infertility journey posts & noticing how similar our stories are. I am currently going through my 3rd and hopefully final, fresh cycle. Although we are hoping to freeze all & do PGS testing, it will all depend on how our embryos progress after retrieval tomorrow. I have been to 3 different doctors and have gotten 4 different opinions. Such a trying journey, but one I think is only given to the strongest of people. Best of luck to you as you continue down your path!

    Reply

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MEET JENICA

 

My name is Jenica and I'm so glad that you're here! I started this blog in 2014 to share the best deals on the nicest things because I believe we all deserve to live the best life on less. Read more...

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jenicaparcell

✨ Affordable fashion daily!
✨ Infertility support 👉🏻 @fearless.infertility
✨ mama to IVF twins + baby boy 🥹🙏
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Affordable Fashion + Empowered Infertility
When Taylor Swift tickets found ME 2 weeks ago fro When Taylor Swift tickets found ME 2 weeks ago from my good friend @jennie.theldsmissioncoach, I took it as a sign that it was meant to be!!!! ✨ What a FUN WEEKEND!! @jocelynstimpson @mal.bouchard met in Vegas and this is the story! 😍

Tips if you go to a concert on this tour:

✨ Dress up!! It was SO much fun to see everyone’s outfits!
✨ Expect everyone to be so nice 🥹 Taylor Swift fans are so sweet! There was a girl at the airport that saw we were going to the concert and gave us a friendship bracelet! 🤣🤍
✨ WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES!! Even if you have to change your planned outfit! I PROMISE this is a big deal 🤣 You stand/sit/dance for over 3 hours in the stadium just with her performance + the opener + walking time! Our legs and feet were tired by the end and we even had comfy shoes on! Some girls wore heels and were limping at the end 😭
✨ If you can, stay at a hotel within walking distance of the event venue! That made it SO much easier to get back afterward and you’ll be tired!
✨ Have FUN!!! Oh my goodness - the energy of this tour is UNREAL! Taylor Swift and her team have created something so magical! I think you’ll love it if you’re a fan!👏🏻

#erastour #erastouroutfit #erastourtaylorswift #erastourvegas #taylorswiftconcert #taylorswiftfan
No one cares. Enjoy the bite 🤣 #funnybuttrue No one cares. Enjoy the bite 🤣 #funnybuttrue
✨ Which blazer is your fav? I found my new fav b ✨ Which blazer is your fav? I found my new fav blazer in the PERFECT fit and length!! Got it in 3 colors because I’ll be wearing them a LOT. Which would you choose?!

Wearing a small for reference! Message below if you want the link and I’ll DM it to you!

I’m BACK to posting to my fav affordable fashion items and products here on this account! I’VE MISSED IT!!!! I’ve got the support I need to create time to do it now and your girl is BACK! For infertility support, you can head to @fearless.infertility 🤗🤗🤗 #affordablefashion #amazonfashionfinds #dealsandsteals
Fearless Infertility episode 103! Out today on all Fearless Infertility episode 103! Out today on all podcast platforms ✨ #podcastersofinstagram #podcasthost #infertilitywarrior #infertilityjourney
It’s my 36th birthday and I’m surrounded on al It’s my 36th birthday and I’m surrounded on all sides with people who are INCREDIBLE! 😭 People who encourage me, point out my strengths, forgive my weaknesses and think the room is better with me in it.

I think we all deserve this positive energy 🤍

I am blessed beyond measure to help women with infertility every day, and to be a mother, wife, daughter and friend. Life has painful lows and glorious highs and I’m so grateful to be a witness to it all.

Harris spent several hours making my favorite birthday gift to date. 🥹 (swipe to see). #36thbirthday #birthdaygirl #gratefulforlife #ilovepeople
You need people who GET YOU. Who CHEER you on. Who You need people who GET YOU. Who CHEER you on. Who encourage you in your losses and celebrate you in your wins. You need friends. You need coaches.

Do you have your support system set up to thrive??

Who feeds your soul?

Who makes you think bigger?

Who rejoices when you enter the room?

No one is perfect, but when you find these people for you, you will start to accept nothing less.

The negative, soul sucking energy you let in your life will simply start to fade without drama because you deny that type of energy.

Will you let it? Do you think you deserve it?

Tag your people below!

Thank you for being one of my people @brookecasanovas 🔥

#playbig #empoweredinfertility #riseup #ivfsuccess #fertilityrescripted
I just passed 100 episodes of the Fearless Inferti I just passed 100 episodes of the Fearless Infertility podcast!!!

100 times showing up and pressing record, hoping people would listen and that I wasn’t talking to myself.

100 episodes hoping to lighten at least ONE woman’s concerns so she wasn’t alone during infertility.

100 episodes of sharing tools that would remind women with infertility that they are stronger than they possibly know.

AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED!!!

🎉 To celebrate, I teamed up with some of my favorite (and incredibly generous companies!) to give TWO of you a MASSIVE prize package!!! 🎉

* A gift card from @coconu 
* A $50 gift card from @thehypochlorouscompany (my FAV non toxic cleaner)
* A prize of your choice from @stanley_brand limitations may apply)
* A $75 gift card from @saranoniblanket
* A gift from @pmdbeauty
* A bottle of Natural Hair Oil from @amazinghairsaviour
* A $75 gift card from @shinecosmetics

TWO WINNERS announced March 27th - one on the podcast and one on the Fearless Infertility newsletter.

To enter, write a review on Apple Podcasts + share a fav episode to your stories!

Let me know you did here and on http://fearlessinfertility.com/giveaway.

Love you, friends!!! #infertilitysisters #infertilityawareness #ivfsisters #adoptionstory #ttcsisters
Cancún. Night time. Baby’s sleeping in his slee Cancún. Night time. Baby’s sleeping in his sleep pod in our room. Tyler is in his parent’s room playing games.

And I’m in the bathroom of our room dancing by myself with my headphones in having the time of me life 🤣

I caught a glimpse in the mirror and laughed. I’m who I am now because I had to learn the tools to move through my trauma and THRIVE.

It’s the best thing I did and continue to do for myself.

It’s the best thing I do and continue to do for my children.

It’s the best thing I do and continue to do for my relationship with Tyler.

It’s the best thing I do and continue to do for my career.

It’s the best thing I do and continue to do for my clients.

There are tools for your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health that will allow you to THRIVE even when it’s hard, sis. You’re gonna be okay. 🤍

#infertilitysupport #infertilitycommunity #infertilitytribe #wholebodywellness
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