To My Beautiful Child: The Ultrasound Tells Us Our Next Move!

To my beautiful child,

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite weekend because I get to relax with family, eat lots of delicious food and relax, relax, relax. It’s crazy to think you might be at our Thanksgiving table next year! We sure hope so. It’s amazing what can happen in just a short year.

We had a great time with my side of the family this year for Thanksgiving dinner at grandpa’s house, but it was hard to not have grandma there. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s gone and I can’t go over to her house to see her. I want to walk in and see her standing in her kitchen cooking up something delicious. I didn’t want to be sad so I tried not think about it too much. When I do think about it, I like to think that you and grandma were up there at a delicious feast with uncle Mark and you were all smiling and laughing together. I’m sure that uncle Mark is teaching you sneaky tricks to play on us when you’re with us. I remember when he rubbed mashed potatoes in mine and aunt Jocelyn’s hair! Or the time when he was chasing us and we hid in the shower. We asked for it! You better believe the water came on. He better not be teaching you too many crazy things. I’m sure grandma is balancing it all 🙂 I know we’ll all be together one day.

I read the best talk yesterday by David Bednar called, “Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease.” I really liked how he talked about the fact that people mistakenly believe that happiness comes when you’re not carrying a load. We all have loads to carry and the Lord will help to carry them with us to make them light. I know this is true because I feel it. I have honestly surprised myself at how well I have been able to handle this IVF round. I think it’s because we have so many people praying for us. I feel happy now, heavy load and all. And it really doesn’t feel that heavy. I know that Christ is helping me carry it.

I remember earlier this year, my mom saying that when we go through trials, we can’t look at them and think, “oh, I’ll be happy when this is over. This is getting in the way of my life! Well, guess what sister? This is your life! This trial is your life. It’s not getting in the way of it.” I like that way of thinking. It’s so easy to get caught up thinking that you’ll be happy after you achieve something, or after you have something. Life is too short to think like that. I’m choosing to be happy today.

So…what’s the latest with our IVF fun? Well, Aunt Flow came to visit me on Friday. I don’t understand why she insists on punching me in the gut over and over again…but ibuprofen always seems to help. Her visits mean that my body is working normally, so at least she has that going for her. I go in to the fertility center tomorrow to get an ultrasound. Last time I went in, my ovaries were the size of kiwis because of the hyperstimulation. They should normally be the size of walnuts. If I go in tomorrow and they are normal-sized, then we will move forward with the frozen embryo transfer in December. I’ll have to start the progesterone shots in my butt, plus another shot twice a week that I can’t think of the name of right now. I’ll find out tomorrow. My butt seriously can’t wait for those shots. I love getting shots in my butt.

If my ovaries are not small again, we will wait until January. So…we’ll know tomorrow! I am anxious to find out the results.

I have had some time the last week to start getting organized. It’s nice to feel well enough to start cleaning the house so that every nook and cranny will eventually be all organized. I am trying to get it done before I get pregnant so I can just relax and focus on my health and getting enough sleep. I worked on my closet yesterday and the office today. Maybe I’m nesting really early?

My tummy is almost entirely deflated now from all of the liquid that was in there. It’s nice to not look 5 months pregnant when you’re actually not pregnant at all. I’m SO much more comfortable and so grateful for my normally good health!

You’re worth it!

Mom

We went to cut down Christmas tree for my mom and stepdad on Friday. My grandpa came with us and was cute all bundled up! One of my favorite parts was your dad singing, “Oh, Christmas tree!” at the top of his lungs as we were searching. My grandpa treated us to hot chocolate on the way home and it felt really cozy with the snow falling all around us.