Our First Thanksgiving and Things that I Don't Want to Forget

To my beautiful children,

There are some things that I don’t want to forget. Who am I kidding, I want to remember them all. It makes me so happy that you are both thriving, that you are both growing, that you are both so healthy. It makes my heart so happy, and yet, I want time to slow down. I don’t want to forget the way you smell. I don’t want to forget your tiny feet in your little socks and your little legs that kick so hard. The way you both love to sit in the bath and the content look on Harris’ face as he soaks in the warm water, or the way that Goldie blinks hard then smiles so big when she hears my voiec. Time is a thief and it’s stealing your littleness right before my eyes. I want you to always remember how utterly and completely adored you are. You are my sun, moon and stars and you light up my whole world. I knew that I would love you, but truly, there really aren’t words to describe how much you have deeply affected my life, my heart, my soul.

As I fed Harris this morning, I wanted to soak in those big, blue eyes. I snapped a few pictures, and I was worried that my phone wasn’t fast enough to capture the way you were looking at me. As Goldie started falling asleep after I fed her, I wanted to remember those tiny little legs poking out of your brother’s sweats that I put on you. I love the way you both love looking at the pictures in the books that I read to you. Your innocent eyes discovering new things. It scares me to think that at some point in the too near future, I’ll have to send you to school in this big, scary world, and that sometimes, some people won’t be nice to you. You’ll have heartache and heartbreak, and you’ll learn and grow from it. But for now, let’s let these days last. Let’s soak in the sunshine of lazy mornings and giggles and sweet kisses. Let’s remember that they go too fast and to make each moment last. And when that day comes, when you leave for the first time, I’ll cry just like I’m crying now but I’ll remind you that my arms are always home.

Your dad asked me on Sunday, “If you knew that tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would you do?” And I thought about it for a second, and my answer was that I would live the same day that I just had, with him and you at home, because this happy home is my earlier heaven.

To my babies on your first Thanksgiving, you and your daddy are the joy of my life. I could have never dreamed how full my heart could be.

Mama