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You Always Need Your Mama

To My Beautiful Child

28 Sep



motherhood





To my beautiful Goldie,





Last night I slept in our guest bedroom because I was so exhausted that I asked your dad to take over for the night. You’re lucky to have such an incredible daddy that loves us so much. At about 3:30 am, I heard you crying. I came into the room and your dad was finishing feeding Harris so he couldn’t get to you. He had already fed you and held you while you fell back to sleep, but you had woken up again while daddy was feeding Harris. Your dad told me that he didn’t think I should pick you up, but just try to soothe you in your bed because he thought you might go to sleep more quickly that way. You were really sad, so I sat down next to your little bassinet.  I sat there and said “shhh” and stroked your sweet little head with my head. You were almost immediately soothed. It was such a sweet experience for me. You know your mama and my presence brings you so much peace. It has been really incredible to see the way that you react to me from the very start. I would walk up to your little crib in the NICU, and even at 2 days old, you would try to turn your head in the direction of my voice. You wouldn’t even have your eyes open, or they would be covered, but you knew my voice. You would always wake up when I was there as well, when oftentimes you would sleep through the nurses taking care of you.





My mom brings me so much peace. She somehow always knows how to relieve my mind when it’s troubled. I talk to her almost every single day, and when I don’t, it just doesn’t feel right. I’ll always be here for you too, my girl. After I gave birth to you and your brother, my body went into shock and started convulsing and shaking really, really badly. I couldn’t stop. My jaw was hurting so badly, and eventually the nurse gave me morphine to relax my muscles and stop the spasms. My mom laid on me to help bring me comfort…her body pressure helped me to not shake so hard and uncontrollably. She brought me so much comfort then just as I brought you comfort last night when you were crying. 





We always need our mama, no matter how old we get, and I hope you always remember how much I love you and I will always be the one that wants to bring peace to you. I might not always have the answers or the right things to say, but I want you to know that my arms are always a safe place for you. My arms will always be home for you, my sweet girl.





The circle of life and love continues and it’s so beautiful to see it unfold. God knew what he was doing when he created families.





You’re my sweetest girl.





xo



Mama






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9 Comments

Previous Post: « The Last Month with Our Twins!
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Comments

  1. Erin Fairchild says

    September 28, 2016 at 3:49 am

    I love this so much! What a beautiful post! <3

    Her Heartland Soul
    herheartlandsoul.com

    Reply
  2. Anto says

    September 28, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Tears!! So so sweet. I miss my mama 🙁

    Reply
  3. Cathy Jeppsen says

    September 28, 2016 at 11:21 am

    That's so beautiful!

    Reply
  4. Kimberly Buckley says

    September 28, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    Just saw your Instagram story or whatever they are called… erase paste concealer by benefit is my absolute favorite and MAC also makes a primer before concealer goes on but who wants that many steps with twins 😉

    Reply
  5. Shawn says

    September 28, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    This made me cry and that picture of you and your mom says it all. You're a beautiful mama and nothing is harder than motherhood and nothing is more worth it. I'm feeling sorry that I bothered you with my request for you to help Sarah at such a stressful time. So sorry! I remember when our baby, Devin, died, I thought it would be so nice to have twins to kinda make up for losing one but then Tanner came along and wow! I can only imagine how it feels to have twins PLUS have mono. You're a tough and brave girl and my prayers are with you. The babies are beautiful! XO

    Reply
  6. Marissa Posniak says

    September 28, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    Jenica,

    My husband and I are currently going through my own interfility issues after only being married a year and a half. I am to undergo a hysteroscopy surgery at the end of October to remove adhesions all over my uterus before we start any IVF. I just have to tell you how beautiful your families journey is and how gorgeous those two miracle babies are. I absolutely love reading your letters to them and it gives me some comfort knowing I am not going through this alone. Currently all of my gfs are either pregnant or have young children and I find things just so much harder but know it will all be worth it. Thank you for sharing. xoxox

    Marissa

    Reply
    • Carly Conners Kenihan says

      September 29, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      I love this comment of yours! I'm going through IVF too…and it is so important to know that we are not in this alone! Thanks to Jenica for bringing all of us so much hope and inspo! Thank you ladies for this community!
      xx
      Carly
      http://bunbunbook.com

      Reply
  7. Carly Conners Kenihan says

    September 29, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    This is so beautiful, Jenica! Brought me to tears. I'm going through my second round of IVF now and this lifted my spirits to the moon. Thank you <3
    xx
    Carly
    http://bunbunbook.com

    Reply
  8. Trey says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:54 am

    Your boy will always need his mama too. 🙂

    Reply

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MEET JENICA

 

My name is Jenica and I'm so glad that you're here! I started this blog in 2014 to share the best deals on the nicest things because I believe we all deserve to live the best life on less. Read more...

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  • One of my favorite people on this planet had her 30th birthday today! She is an incredible mother, an incredible entrepreneur, an incredible friend and such a beautiful human both inside and out. I learn from her and am blessed by her example every day! I love you @rachparcell!! Happy birthday!!
  • We went skiing today and when we got to the top of the mountain my job DROPPED! Like actually dropped This photo doesn’t even do it justice!! I didn’t go skiing last season for some reason and I’m SO glad we are making it happen this year. Where is your favorite place to ski? I learned how to ski about 8 years ago when I decided that I didn’t want to hate winter any more. It’s cold in Utah for almost HALF the year! I needed something fun to look forward to in the snow! ❄️❄️❄️ #skiing #skiutah #snowbird
  • We need each other!! This picture makes me think about when Tyler and I hadn’t told a lot of people about our infertility. We had done 3 IUI’s and 2 rounds of IVF without a baby and I was physically and emotionally sick. I just needed a break so we decided to stop trying and just have fun for a bit. I wrote out our journey up until that point while up at 2 am with jet lag after we returned back from a trip to China (I had a miscarriage on an airplane there!) It felt so therapeutic that
  • This is just your friendly reminder to schedule your dental cleaning! Check out this cutie’s teeth! We had the opportunity to travel to Egypt back in 2019 and it was really special. I learn so much when I travel, but especially gratitude. Where is the coolest place you have ever traveled and would recommend to others, and why? #travelegypt #egypttravel #pyramids
  • What time do you wake up at every morning and what is the first thing you focus your attention on? If it’s different than what you actually do, what do you want to focus on first thing in the morning? (Harris and I rode his and Goldie’s scooters in the parking lot for an hour while we waited for her to finish dance class ) #priorities #focus #2021goals
  • My word to remind me of my intention this year is FOCUS. I want to focus on the things that are important to me, and in doing so I need to save time where I can! The @walmart+ membership has saved me HOURS of time. Almost every single week, I use Walmart+ free shipping, no order minimum on items from walmart.com (excludes oversized/freight & Marketplace items). Head to today’s blog post to see the benefits available to you and how they can save you SO MUCH of time like they have for me! #ad #Walmartplus
  • Hi! Question for you friends who have experienced/are experiencing infertility OR who have watched loved ones experience it: What was the biggest pain point for you? Where do you feel stuck the most? What gave you hope? What made you feel unsure? Please answer any or all of the above questions. Thank you and I love you! #infertility
  • For many years, people asked me how I was able to find peace even during infertility. How was I able to not compare myself to others who were having children? How was I able to be genuinely happy for others and never jealous? How was I able to not feel sorry for myself? How was I able to find joy and gratitude? It all came down to the thoughts I chose intentionally. It’s as simple and as hard as that, depending on how you look at it. The foundation of my life is the peace that Jesus Christ has given

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