To my beautiful child,
TODAY IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY WHOLE LIFE!!! We have planned for you, tried for you, shed tears for you, dreamed about you, talked about you, smiled thinking about you, given myself a couple hundred shots for you, done dozens of blood draws for you, so many ultrasounds for you, hundreds of prayers for you…and now you’re going to be here with us next year!!!
I woke up today feeling SO anxious! I knew that if we got a negative pregnancy test, this was going to be a really, really tough day and a tough journey ahead of us. Everything pointed to “yes” this time. We removed the polyps from my uterus so there is a good environment now. I took the human growth hormone to strengthen my eggs. I had neupogen put into my uterus to strengthen the lining and make it extra sticky. If it didn’t work this time, I didn’t know what to do next. I prayed to my Heavenly Father to please let me get pregnant…but at the same time I told Him that I would be okay with whatever journey He wants us to take. But I really wanted a baby!! So I hoped He would keep that in mind 😉 In all seriousness, it has been a bit hard for me. He knows we want to be parents. There is a fine line between trusting in His plan for us and wanting something so badly. I know that He has a plan for us that is better than we can see. I’m glad I’ve had this trial because I have grown so, so, SO much.
I went into work and tried to act normal and tried to make calls and go through my routine. I was SO nervous!! I was literally a little bit shaky and sweaty. My sweet friends at work have been so supportive. It has made this 3rd IVF cycle so much easier. They make me cry with their thoughtfulness! I have literally recieved hundreds of comments from good people who don’t know me but who are rooting for us, pray for us, and want to see us happy. Even if I learned nothing else, and I was the recipient of so much goodness, that would have been enough for me to go through this. It has been so incredibly beautiful to see how good people are. This world can seem like such a crazy, tough place, but when you see a perfect stranger telling you that they have checked back onto your social media all day because they are anxious for the good news, it changes the way you see the world. I am crying right now thinking about it!! These people have changed me for the better. Their comments mean more to me and have more impact than they’ll be able to know. This has given me new perspective in this life and the impact that one sentence can have for the good has been incredible for me witness. One soul can change your life, or even just your day, and the importance of that is not lost on me. I’m so incredibly grateful that I have gone through this so that I can see that.
I left work at 11:40 to get my blood drawn. My appointment was at 11:45 (I work SO close to the fertility center which is such a blessing). I walked in, luckily got my favorite phlebotomist to draw my blood, and saw my favorite ultrasound tech Ashley who gave me a big hug! She got engaged on the night that we did our transfer, and she texted me, “today was a good day! You got silver and gold, and I got diamonds!” Your dad had joked with her that if we had twins, we would name them silver and gold because that Christmas song was playing in the room during our transfer.
I went home for lunch afterward and starting crying. So many emotions!! I started thinking about what it would feel like if they called me later and told me that I was pregnant. I was sobbing! Ashley called me to tell me about her engagement because I texted her that I wanted to know all about it, and she said that she would try to be the one who called me to tell me the news. I told her that I really wanted her to be the one so she said she would try her best! When I’ve received my other calls, it has been closer to 5 pm so I didn’t expect to get a call much earlier than that.
I went back to work and was just about to make a call that I had scheduled at 1:30 pm when I saw Ashley’s phone number calling my phone. I answered and said, “hello?” She said, “this is Ashley…do you want to know the news?” And I said, “no, call me back later.” JUST KIDDING!!! I had originally planned to get up and walk out so I could be in private but I couldn’t move. It was like I was paralyzed! All of my sweet friends were looking at me. Ashley said, “you’re pregnant!!” I said something like, “oh my gosh, are you serious?!!!” It took me a minute to process and I don’t really feel like I heard that much. My brain didn’t believe it was true! I had to call her back later and get some information because I couldn’t remember what she had said. My brain checked out as soon as I knew I was pregnant! I started crying and thanked her.
My friends were all crying around me too!! They are so kind to care so much about it. I’m just so touched at the outpouring of love that we have received. I’ll never get over it. I called your dad and starting sobbing and when he answered I said, “guess what?!” and he said, “what?” and I said, “you’re going to be a dad!!” He was so happy. I could hear the relief in his voice. I hung up with him and called my mom twice and she didn’t answer!! Horrible timing ha ha! Then I called Aunt Jocelyn and she was squeeling and crying because she was so excited!! I then got back on the phone with Tyler and we conference called his mom (your Grammy). She started crying! Then we got a hold of my mom and she was so excited and crying too!! We couldn’t get a hold of a few our family members (my dad, Popsy, aunt Katelyn and uncle Casey). We eventually got a hold of the rest of your dad’s siblings and the in-laws and it was so sweet to hear everyone cry and be so happy and excited for us!!! We sent a big group text to all of my step-siblings so they would all find out at the same time and we were doing a group text at the time anyway. We called my friend’s Oakley and Courtney and texted lots and lots of friends and family. Their sweet messages back to us were so special!! People kept telling us that they were crying and so happy for us!
Many, many prayers were answered today. We are beyond overjoyed. This is the best day of my entire life so far, and your birthday will be the only thing that can top this. Your daddy and I want you here with us SO much!! You are so, so, so loved little one. Oh, you just can’t even imagine.
My HCG score is 524 and my due date is September 5th. What a beautiful birthdate!! I will go in again next Monday to get my HCG levels tested again with a blood draw, and 3 weeks later we will go in for an ultrasound to find out if we are having 1 baby or 2 babies. I am 4 weeks and 1 day along 🙂
We love you more than you could ever know. I’m grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to go down this path because my heart has grown and I have experienced so many wonderful things. I’m grateful to my Savior for helping me carry the burden and making it light when I couldn’t handle it on my own.
You’re worth it!!
xo
Mama
I have been waiting all day for this post, hopefully I will have similar results January 1st! Congratulations, I feel and know how hard every tear and piece of hard news is. You guys did it!!!����
Oh my gosh! I can feel the excitement and relief and joy……congrats!!! This is going to be the luckiest baby/babies!!!! Can't wait to read and follow your journey, 2016 is YOUR year!
Keno a I have loved reading these letters and getting a glimpse of your ivf journey. We struggled for a few years to get pregnant with our first and saw Dr. Foulk. I remember the let down and disappointment of numerous phone calls and have been anxious for you all day. I am so happy for you and am eager to continue following along your journey. You are going to be a great mom.
I am reading this crying of excitement for you and your family, I was praying all day thinking about you and kept checking IG for the big news, I soon as I saw your picture I knew God answered all of our prayers! This totally made my day, now I'll keep praying for your family that just got a little bigger 🙂 sending all my love! I wish I could hug you 🙂 I feel like a friend for sharing this journey with you 🙂 all the best to you and your family! Xoxo
This is a beautiful post and it made me cry. We are all so happy for you here in Colorado where we are visiting Jamie and Kevin. I'm really happy you have shared your story so I could feel closer to you. Everyone cheered here when I announced your great news after I saw it on Instagram. Congratulations and always remember what the Lord has done for you during this trial because there will be more trials in the future and remembering how you felt carried by Him during this ordeal will help you when doubts cross your mind. You're an incredible young woman and I'm so happy we are all linked in an eternal family. XO and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! Tell your mama I'm so happy for her to be a grandma too!
I've checked back 20 times to find out!!! So happy for you! I cried like a baby for you!!!! ??
Congratulations I am so excited for you! I found you on insta (I'm possibly_baby_b) and you have been such an inspiration. I love when you say so many prayers were answered today! I often think about and so much appreciate everyone who is praying for my husband and I to become parents. Xoxo
Oh I'm soooooo happy for you guys! It has been so encouraging following you through your journey! May God bless you and your family as we begin to GROW!!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH ��������
Congratulations Jenica! I've prayed for you often over the holiday, knowing the longing to start a family. What a wonderful Christmas blessing! After reading your blog tonight, I was reminded of Phil 4:19. God has provided for you in this journey, blessing you and others through you. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your story – you are a blessing! Praying for your pregnancy now! 😉
That top picture is my all-time favorite pic of you…so gorgeous and happy! I'm thrilled for you and Tyler!
OMG super excited & happy for the both of you. All day today i had you in my thoughts in hope to get the greateat news that you were pregnant. Been on Ig since you posted your picture this morning. Today is the beginning of a new adventure for you. Congradulations!! Welcome to Mommyhood let the fun begin Jenica.
This is such exciting news!! So happy for you! ???
I've been following your story on instagram becuase a friend told me about you. I too struggle with infertility and I can't tell you how happy I am for you. It gives me so much hope. Thanks for sharing your story, it's helped me more than you know.
Hi Jenica
I want you to know that I have followed your journey. I am not very religious but I have admired your faith so much and today I even prayed for you. I am so happy for you! You two will be amazing parents. Big hug:)
Congratulations! I'm so thrilled for you guys! I've been checking Instagram all day waiting for the results of your blood test and i just burst into tears when I read your post! I'm so so so happy for you! I'll be following along with you so keep posting updates as your pregnancy progresses! Xoxox
JENICA!! Congrats!! I wish you all the best during your pregnancy. It took us quite a while to get our little guy Chase and we are so blessed to have him. Pregnancy was one of the most amazing and difficult experiences of my life but I would do it again in a second! Motherhood is one of the greatest experiences you will ever have. September 5th is a great due date! My little Chase had the same due date this year but decided to come on the 9th. Anyway, seriously I am so happy for you. All the best!
Kierra
Congratulations! What an exciting day!!! There's no better joy than being a mom! I have two healthy boys (16 and 13), had 3 miscarriages inbetween them and then had a "vanishing twin "'with my youngest, but it was all in God's plan! Follow you on Instagram and have been anxiously waiting to see how the IVF went! Many prayers for you until September! God Bless!
This post makes my heart burst with happiness! Glad I'm reading this at night so I can be crying on my couch instead of at work at my desk. I am SO HAPPY for you!!! You are going to be the best mama.
The picture of you after finding out is the best picture you have posted! Pure joy. So many memories reading this.
We also did our third cycle in a December (2013). I found out I was pregnant on new years eve and had it confirmed on 1 January 2014. Our miracle was due on Sept 7th but graced us on 31 August.
I can't wait to read all about your journey. The was one of the most memorable 9months of my life. So much happiness awaits you! Xox
I'm so happy for you!!!!!
Congratulations to you and your husband! I have been rooting for you and checking in to your blog and instagram a lot since discovering it recently. While I am not at the same stage of life, and am not having infertility issues, I have been reminded, through your example, about having faith, strength and perseverance in the midst of adversity. Thanks for reminding me about this as I continue to work through my own challenge. Thank you for sharing this journey. You have given a gift to many of us by being so open. I'm just so happy for you and your growing family!!!
Crying tears of joy for you. We're in the midst of cycle 24 of trying to conceive. I hope I get to join you soon!
I just…cant even!!!! The excitement for you is HUGE! I can't even think of a more BEAUTIFUL picture to announce the news, than this one…it displays the gorgeous, RAW emotion of finding out such incredible news after this long journey of yours! It brought tears to my eyes:) Best wishes and prayers for a healthy and happy pregnancy journey!!
Officially bawling officially bawling all over again…I am so, so happy for you xoxoxozox
Hey Jenica!! I've been keeping track of your story on Instagram and here on your blog. I've been rooting for you and was just SO happy yesterday to read the good news.
I only know you through your writing, but you seem so loving, kind, and fun. I am not married/don't have kids but still have been touched by your story and think about you lots. You seem like someone who will be such a devoted and adoring mama, so I am just thrilled for you and your family.
Sending lots of love and good wishes! Enjoy this very special time of life!!!
Congratulations!!! This has been the best news. Due to time difference I was asleep when the news broke. When I got up it wa stage first thing I looked for. You two will be wonderful parents. Sending you best wishes in your journey of motherhood and a healthy and wonderful pregnancy. Xx
Dear Jenica,
I'm a reader from Germany and I followed your story the last months and was impressed with your attitude! I'm a new mom and I wish it to you from the bottom of my heart. Before I slept last night I was very excited about the result of your test and when my baby waked me up at night because she was hungry I quickly checked your homepage about the result (In Germany I get your updates always at night because of the time lag). I wish you all the best and I'm thinking of you across the ocean 🙂
I read your Instagram this morning and had an automatic hand extend out in praise when I read your news. LOVE is growing in your belly and that's so exciting!! Hugs from a sister in Christ!!
Jess
This is so surreal. I just went through all of these emotions and struggles. We had our BETA test done the day before Christmas Eve and we too found out we are pregnant. I'm so incredibly happy for you and your hubby. I feel like I can say this to you, since you will understand it, but it was all worth it. Every single bit. Congrats sweet girl! Cheers to 9 months of a healthy pregnancy.
Oh my gosh I don't even know you and I am bawling reading this post. I am so excited for you!!! This will be one lucky and loved baby! I'm excited to follow you along the rest of this journey!! Congrats! Xo
I'm crying tears of joy for you! So happy! Giving me hope for our pending second round of IVF! Congratulations!!
Struggling with infertility, I joined Instagram a few months back and started following you. I pray for all of us to get our BFPs and said a special one for you Sunday. Yesterday I never knew I could feel so genuinely happy for someone I have never met! I am so incredibly happy for you!
Congratulations! That's an amazing first hcg. I'm betting you have two little babies in there!!
Somehow I came across your blog and started reading your story. I found out on Dec 26th I am pregnant after IVF. We had almost the exact same HCG level and a very close due date. Congratulations! For me it is a very unreal fantasy that I can't quite believe after wanting it so long!
I hope that everything went well. You're in my thoughts and prayers!
So glad for you! Crying with you;)
You gave me hope that it is possible!!!
Just read through your blog. Congratulations ❣
I cried. You don't understand the good vibes your blog does. I'm so for you.
– Ashley
http://www.constellationandcanine.com
Thank you so much, Ashley!! You are so kind 🙂
I am SOBBING!
I'm fairly new to this journey but have followed somewhat on instagram. I'm so thankful for the few posts I've read and am praising and Thanking God for you!
Thank you for your vulnerability, your bravery in sharing your journey! My sister has suffered with infertility 4 times and I am so grateful for women like you who have the courage to share this.
Thank you and God bless your miraculous little family! ??
Thank you so much for letting me know, Emily. You are so sweet! Thinking and praying for your family! xo
I ran across your blog on Pinterest, and just spent the last hour completely sucked into every word! I laughed, and cried as if I were actually in these moments. After a few failed cycles this year you have given me so much hope for our FET coming up! Your husband reminds me of mine, such a goofball and always lightening the mood! Congratulations, and thank God for leading me to your blog 🙂
-Chelsea
Thank you so much, Chelsea!! You are definitely not alone in this journey. I'm wishing you all the best!! Rest, rest, rest 🙂 xo
Hi Jenica!
Congrats on your babies!!! So exciting! I wanted to see if you guys did PGS testing? We are in the early stages of going through fertility treatment and want to see if that helps in the whole IVF process. Any advice would be helpful! Thank you!
Thank you so much! We did not do PGS testing so I'm not familiar with it! I wish you all the best in this wild ride. It's A LOT so make sure to give yourself a break and rest a lot!! Wishing you all the very best 🙂
Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage on the 2nd of June I went for a 11 week scan to find out the baby diet at 8 weeks so I went for a natural delivery that happened a few days later I then started to hemeridge and was rushed to hospital but was sent home about 6 hours later as I felt fine. Bleeding continued for 5 days then stopped but when I checked to see if I was ovulating on day 6 which I was we decided to try again but 3 days later I've had like a muddy but very light period. Would this be the start on my normal period? As I'm confused..I have 4 children with no problems and my youngest is 8 now but I am a rhes neg blood group and I didn't have my anti d jab after having her so I have lost about 4 babies very early into the pregnancy apart from this one I'm also just turned 41 so I'm worried my age isn't helping I don't smoke or drink I eat healthy so I no it's nothing to do with that.. I've had my anti d jab when i was in hospital but was wondering if anyone has had the same experience and is it still possible that I could get pregnant straight after a miscarriage or do I have to wait for my period to come again. My cycle has always been all over the place so I can never keep track of it only if I use ovulation tests, i discus this with my friend who advice me to contact Dr abacha for solution to my problem which i did, after contacting these Dr abacha from Africa he told me all that i need to do, actually he's not a medical doctor but a very powerful traditional doctor, he told me that the gods will bless me with children of any kind after i finish using the traditional herb he is going to send to me from his country to my country here in USA, i was very amaze when the package finally reach my hand, he told me how i was to use it for a perfect result, my dear sisters do you know that after 2 weeks i have used these traditional herb he send to me i began to notice some changes in my body and after 3 weeks i took in that was how i got pregnancy help from these Dr abacha the traditional spell caster, i am recommended anyone to these great traditional caster, and in case there is any one out there who is still searcher for pregnancy help should please contact Dr abacha in his email address:abachasolutiontemple367@gmail.com or visit he in his website //abachasolutiontemple.webs.com/ for immediate help, THANKS TO YOU DR and may God bless you for your good work in my family.
Cynthia frm Chicago Illinois
I ran across your story in all while I am sitting in the hair salon with tears in my eyes. Because I know this story to well. I have been struggling also to conceive and your story gives me hope your story is helping me restore my faith. Thank you so much for sharing
I am so sorry to hear about your hard circumstances right now. You are strong! I am thinking of you and praying for your peace. You got this 🙂