To my beautiful child,
I have been wanting to write you all week but the Christmas festivities have taken over! This has been good timing because it has been a good distraction. Waiting 10 days is to find out if the IVF worked is somewhat tortuous. I’ve always said that my virtues do not include patience. Maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that out loud because this trial in getting you here has definitely been trying to teach me that. I’ve learned my lesson, okay?! 🙂 In all seriousness, I’m grateful for our trials in experiencing this because I certainly have learned a lot and I know I’ve grown into a more empathetic person which will serve me well in this life.
So…we did the IVF transfer a week and two days ago. On Christmas eve, I started spotting a little which made me nervous. I have given Google a run for it’s money and I know that spotting in the first trimester can be normal. I also talked your grandma (my mama) and she assured me that it can be common. I had quite a bit more spotting yesterday as well but it doesn’t feel like a normal period at all and today I haven’t seen much besides the progesterone suppository coming out a bit which is normal. Side note – what if you’re a boy and you have to read all of this? HA! This will be an education for you, son. Hey…I used to think a lot of this information was TMI but we all get here in the same way. Well…sort of…many of your friends will not have been created in a lab…but you know what I mean. The symptoms of pregnancy, conception and growing our family shouldn’t be a taboo conversation. Plus, if you are a boy and you read all of this, you’ll only be more prepared when you become a husband. Also…it will be slightly hilarious to watch your face as you read all of this. I’m, like, such a nice mom.
During the last week my other symptoms have included really sore breasts (this happened to me last time though, and can be a side effect of estrogen and progesterone shots I’m on). I’ve also felt little twinges in my ovaries, and random little cramps in my abdomen. That’s the only way that I can describe it. I have also been extremely tired and have taken a nap almost every single day. All of this can be side effects of my injections, though, so I’m trying not to get my hopes up based on those things.
Another symptom is the fact that I can’t seem to want to wear anything other than my black stretchy pants…so there’s that. When you can wear clothes that feel like pajamas, where do you find the motivation to wear anything different? You get back to me on that.
My friend Susan (the beautiful woman that I haven’t ever met but that writes me an encouraging email every single day), wrote me this the day after our transfer last week, “I want you to know that at 1:35 pm Utah time (3:35pm
PA time) section 18-20-13 of the WVU Coliseum joined me and my family
to pray for you and Tyler…YES…25 complete strangers, and my new
friends, prayed for you!” She was at her son’s graduation ceremony and she had the courage to ask complete strangers to pray for us!! This brought me to tears. I was honestly blown away. The people that have touched my life through this experience have made me want to be bolder and stronger about my faith. We have truly felt the prayers and I am going to look for more opportunities to pray for people because it works and our Savior carries our burdens with us.
PA time) section 18-20-13 of the WVU Coliseum joined me and my family
to pray for you and Tyler…YES…25 complete strangers, and my new
friends, prayed for you!” She was at her son’s graduation ceremony and she had the courage to ask complete strangers to pray for us!! This brought me to tears. I was honestly blown away. The people that have touched my life through this experience have made me want to be bolder and stronger about my faith. We have truly felt the prayers and I am going to look for more opportunities to pray for people because it works and our Savior carries our burdens with us.
Your dad is so cute and I can’t even handle thinking about what it feel like to watch him hold you and love you. Just a few minutes ago as I was standing next to him as he was sitting at the table, he put his head to my belly and said, “come on little guy, stick to your mama! Stick to your mama!” He’s said so many little things that have melted my heart. We don’t know if we’ll get one baby, two babies, or not get any babies from this IVF round, but it sure is fun to dream about it. He sent me a text the other day that had four hearts. He said, “one heart for you, one heart for me, one heart for baby girl one, one heart for baby girl number two.” Talk about a heart melter!! He was making me laugh when I overheard him talking to his mom (Grammy) the other day. He said that he thought if we have twins that it would be best to have two girls because he was worried about going to the principal’s office in school too much if we have twin boys. He said, “can you imagine if Drew and I were the same age? We got in enough trouble as it is!” Ha ha I love it. Truthfully though, both of us want a baby. We don’t care if we get a boy or girl, twins or one baby. We will love you so much.
I’ve still been completely touched and overwhelmed by the amount of support we have gotten from our friends and family, but also from complete strangers. I get messages a lot from people that say things that I really need to hear. I just re-read a message earlier today that reminded me that we may want something so badly but God has the best plan for us and He is preparing us for something better. He puts experiences in our lives that we never imagined we would have to go through and it’s important to have patience.
I go in tomorrow for my blood draw at 11:45 am and then a nurse will call me with the results any time before 5 pm. Yeah….talk about a killer wait. I’m really nervous about it, but at the same time, I try to remind myself that everything will work out the way that it’s supposed to be. I really want to hold a sweet, chubby baby in my arms next year. I’ve never wanted it so badly, but I’m also grateful for what I have experienced thus far and what I have yet to experience because I truly treasure the family unit more. I really value motherhood and fatherhood. I think that I needed to go through this to help me gain a deeper appreciation and I know that I’ll be happier in the long run because I know I won’t take it for granted.
Well….we love you so much, baby!! I want you to always remember how desperately your parents wanted you here. Your mama would give herself a million shots to you get here, and it’s worth all the bruises and the pain. You’re precious to us.
You’re worth it!
xo
Mom
Our Parcell Sunday Selfie outtakes from today 🙂
It was -11 degrees last night up on Oakley at grandma and grandpa Camp’s house! I thought that was of note 🙂
Your cute grandma by her tree that we helped find:
The beautiful mountains have been covered in fresh, white snow lately! I can’t get over how pretty they are.
Ugly sweater parties. Enough said.
Decorating and hosting Christmas dinner at our house this year for my side of the family was a really good distraction from the wait in finding out if we are pregnant or not!
We slept over at Grammy and Popsy’s house this year on Christmas eve!
Facetime with cousin Sloane 🙂
Your dad testing out his new snow shoes:
Best wishes!!! I hope that the hours fly by for you until you know.
those ugly sweaters are to die for!!! and i absolutely love your blog:) can't wait to see tons more!
http://theprettypennygirl.blogspot.com
Wishing you lots of baby dust & can't wait to find out if is one baby or possibly two!! Btw i love your blog.
Motherhood is one exhausting, loving and precious gift from God. I'm blessed with 2 babies a 2yr old & a 2 week old.
I have to say I read your blog for two reasons. One, because you are adorable and I am praying and cheering you and your family on. And two (selfishly) because I'm on my second pregnancy and it's been rough (19 weeks and I went from crazy morning sickness to bronchitis to now a dislocated knee) pity party table for one I know, I know. But you are such an amazing reminder of how strong we are as women and how much we can truly endure. You radiate strength. I pray you get good news tomorrow but have no doubt you will one day have the exact family you are meant to have. Thank you for sharing this journey with us- and know you are making a difference in the lives of others!
Totally symptoms of implantation and pregnancy ?!!!!!!
Thinking of you!
Ps during my positive cycle I had weird cramps that felt like before a period starts. I also had sore breasts and no other symtpoms. Xox
Hi Jenica! I just recently started following your blog, wanted to let you know my new husband, Rhett, and I are praying for you and your family on your IVF journey!!
You seem like such an incredible person! Best of luck today! My family and I have been praying for you!