2018 Goals: the Habits I Will Develop to Serve me

Red sweater: Rachel Parcell | Jeans: Nordstrom (only $45 and just like designer denim!) | Shoes: Steve Madden | Sunglasses: Nordstrom | Earrings: Nordstrom

I have been thinking about my new year’s goals a LOT lately! It’s going to be big year, and I want to make goals so that I feel peace and joy along the way. I think that we are all deserving of joy and happiness, and that our decisions and small habits that we develop and practice each day really have a big difference in the overall joy and happiness that we are able to feel.

This past year has been incredible. The biggest miracle, among many, of this year has been getting a front row seat in watching Harris and Goldie grow up before my eyes. I have felt true joy and I have been so proud of myself (am I allowed to say that?) for also putting myself first and taking care of myself so that I can be a good mother and a good wife. Tyler made a couple little movies on his phone, and as we sat their watching them, and I couldn’t help but think that I don’t know how they got so big. I watching in awe this year as my little babies turn into big babies, and my big babies turn into toddlers. “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” – Alma 37.

THE POEM ABOUT HABIT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Someone read this in church, and it resonated deep to my soul. We were in Vegas visiting family, not even at home, and it was what I needed to hear. I was in the right place at the right time. This moment is when I decided I had some habits that I needed to change to serve me better.

Who am I?

I am your constant companion.

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me, and I will be able to do them quickly, correctly.

I am easily managed – you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great people; and alas, of all failures as well. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human being.

You may run me for a profit or turn me for ruin – it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet.

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I AM HABIT.

HABITS THAT I’VE ALREADY DEVELOPED OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS THAT HAVE MADE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

I wanted to start by talking about the habits that I have developed over the past few months that have made a HUGE difference in my happiness and joy. Around September I was feeling really depleted and dragged down, like I was being pulled in a million different directions and I was feeling like I was letting outside sources take control of my actions. The biggest source of distraction was my phone, I decided, after I observed my habits more.

• Habit 1 – I plug in my phone on my kitchen island every night and leave it out of my bedroom. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have heard me talking about what a change this has been!! This has given me SO much for freedom because it has allowed me to be able to stay focused on getting ready for bed. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I’m not tempted to check my email, which gets my mind going so I’m not able to fall back asleep easily.

Another habit that I knew was really affecting my happiness and levels of anxiety was looking at my phone first thing in the morning. I would check my email or get on social media which was essentially giving others the power over what I saw first thing in the morning when I woke up. It could be something happy or exciting, or it could be something sad and overwhelming. I never knew what I was going to get. I was literally giving another source other than myself the power over what I saw, and it was complete gamble. It was a gamble with my emotions!! I decided that I didn’t want it to be a gamble and I took back control! Plugging my phone into the island was the first step so that I wasn’t tempted to look at my phone first thing in the morning.

• Habit 2– I choose to start reading my scriptures every morning so I start off on a positive, high note instead of looking at my phone first thing. I wanted to connect with God and get direction from Him; I wanted to start my day with His peace and stillness. This has been an absolute happiness SAVER for me. I have felt more peace and self confidence since I started doing this than I can even tell you. If you’re not a religious person, choose a book that is uplifting. Take BACK your morning! This has given me control over how my day starts; I don’t like to leave my happiness up to chance.
• Habit 3 – Read this post. This changed my LIFE and helped me feel so much peace!

2018 HABITS

I have some goals that I would like to work on this year, and I think that writing them down and being accountable to them is a big step in making them happen. Each small habit makes a big impact. Here goes! I’m going to write them in the present tense, like I already do them. That way when I go back to this post and read them, or write them on my white board, I can read them like it’s already taken place which puts my brain into an action oriented mindset.

• Habit 4 – I am present and I live in the moment. I am not an anxious person. – This one is hard for me because I am a person with a lot of anxiety! I think that genetics play a large role in this, but there is also a lot that I can control, and my focus will always be on what I can control versus what I cannot. There isn’t a point in focusing on circumstances that I can’t control. There are good aspects and bad aspects to the anxiety that I have. The good is that I am able to accomplish a lot and and get a lot done. I think it might have something to do with the fear that I live in with my  “what if I don’t do this…” mentality. It’s like living in anxiety is my comfort zone, and relaxing is not. Anxiety is stemmed from living in the future, however, so when I’m feeling anxious about accomplishing something, I am not in the present moment. One of my huge goals this year is to be in the present moment. I have started reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, and one thing that he believes is that the past does not exist and neither does the future, because in this moment, they do not. This is going to take a lot of self control and bringing myself back to the present as I tend to slide into my comfort zone of feeling anxious. I need to let that go.
• Habit 5 – I do my back exercises and stretches every day so that I can live a pain free life. – I have scoliosis, which means my spine is not straight. It curves at the top near my shoulder blades and it causes some pain every day. There is a lot that I can do about this, but I have been “too busy” to do my stretches and exercise to help strengthen my back and realign it each day. I go to the Chiropracter each month, but I have been experiencing quite a bit more pain recently, so I’m going to take action.
• Habit 6 – I choose to claim my joy each day. – I was emailing someone that discovered my blog recently, and she was talking about how she wanted to choose to be positive and “claim her day.” I loved the word claim because it emphasizes action on that person’s part. I’ve been thinking about a phrase that I can use this year, and beyond, to be an overarching theme in everything that I do. The reason why I do my blog is because of joy. I believe that we are all entitled to feeling joy each day, and that our actions either lead us to that joy, or deter us from that joy. Claim your joy!! It’s my choice, it’s your choice, and we can all feel it each day if we choose those actions that lead to it. I’m going to take action and choose that joy each and every day, whether that be in the form of getting enough sleep so I feel good physically, treating myself to a bubble bath at night, dropping off cookies to a friend to brighten her day, or making time for date night each week with Tyler. There are countless ways for me to claim my joy, and that will be my focus. #claimyourjoy

I would love to hear any new year’s resolutions that you are really excited about this year! It’s going to be a BIG year, and I love that together, we can do so much more than we can alone. Thank you for being here, and bringing your joy and happiness with you!

THE OUTTAKES

How has the NBA not drafted me, yet?

I mostly like this picture because I wasn’t trying to pose at all; I was literally thinking out loud. It made me laugh because I think I know why Goldie is so expressive. She gets it from her mama.